An abstinent high-school graduate heading for college doesn?t want to say goodbye to his friends but must confront those friends he avoided for that same reason after he lifted a shop, tried drugs and had sex with his friend?s sister.

5 reviews

Neer Shelter Singularity · 55,464 pts

Agreed with the above.

Also must confront his friends is not an action, it's a discussion and part of a scene at best. Once you figure out what the goal is, best to come up with a better description of the action he will take in the story.

dpg Singularity · 112,231 pts

Like the others, I can't make sense of the logline. ?How can he be "abstinent" and yet have "sex with his friend's sister"?

Former member Penpusher · 20 pts

So he doesn't want to say goodbye with them but he did these bad things... too them? With them? I don't understand. I'll give it a go based off of what you've already written:

A trouble-making kid leaving for college decides to make?amends?with his?three best friends for the horrible things he did to them during high school.