Against a backdrop of growing religious conflict with a foreign civilization, an idealistic scientist seeks truth while a young civil servant seeks power.
Heritage
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Heritage
I revised yours in an effort to fill in anything missing so I could see what else is missing and I think I agree, the thing missing is the so what.
Here's my revision. When you get to the end (even with the made up details), you still ask, and what happened, so what. Can you provide that?
When a Middle Eastern country is plunged into religious turbulence and war, two men seek a resolve. One, a scientist, finds anthropological reasons for the war while another, a civil servant, tries to solve the war by creating a new political s.ystem.
The latest draft of the logline lacks specificity as it uses vague descriptions similar to the original post.
What does "...uncovers its dark past..." mean? What will it look like?
What does "...power to shape its future..." mean? What will this look like?
The answers to these questions need to be clear in the logline because they will describe what the main action will be the characters take in the film.
Lastly, there are two separate characters with two separate vague goals.
Who is the main character? Who is the main dramatic point of view character?
Thanks, both helpful.
"As their city is plunged into religious turbulence and war, an idealistic scientist uncovers its dark past while an ambitious civil servant seeks the power to shape its future."