After failing his final mission to receive his wings and graduate to guardianship, an angel must work with his client – a depressed mime ? to help him discover reasons to continue living and to fulfill his own quest of becoming a guardian angel.

An aspiring guardian angel has 24 hours to win his wings by saving a washed-up, bankrupt actor from suicide or be cast down into the pit of hell: Hollywood, condemned to be an aspiring but unsold screenwriter forever and ever... and ever.... and ever...

But seriously, folks.

The human has to be rescued from something more than mere depression. Depression is a state of mind. What's the visual on that? The mime must be rescued from the action that his depression drives him to do: commit suicide (and/or kill someone else, too).

And he's going to kill himself (and/or someone else) within 24 hours (a ticking clock).

And the stakes have to be higher for the rookie guardian angel. It has to be his last chance to win his wings. Maybe he's already failed to prevent 2 other suicides. (He's on probation, been assigned to the heavenly suicide hotline).

fwiw

I like the beginning of the logline that tells us what has happened, he has failed his final mission to receive wings and graduate to guardainship, but I agree with the other comments that it is a bit confusing who the Main Character is.

If the MC is the angel I want an adjectiv that tells me something about the MC's flaws, like you did with the "depressed mime", that is a good character description, and it's maybe because you describe the mime and not the angel it feels uncertain who your MC is. And if the MC is the angel,why is it imortant who this client is?

I would like to know something more about the story, what will happen? How will he help him discover reasons to continue living? I can't really picture what they might be doing reading the logline as it is now.

And more importantly, what will happen to the angel if he should fail? What is his stakes? He has already failed his final mission to receive his wings, so something worse than that has to happen and it need to be in the logline.

Also, how is this helping him to receive his wings and graduate to guardianship, have someone told him that if he does this he will win his wings? You should think about putting that in the logline aswell.

Something like this maybe?

When an arrogant angel fail his final mission to recive his wings and graduate to guardianship, his only hope for a second chance is to show a depressed mime that life is worth living, or he will be kicked out of heaven.

Good luck!

Sounds intriguing

When i read it the first time i was a bit confused about who was what and who's the MC. Maybe something you can be more specific about.

Why does the MC have to work with his client?
If you give the MC a reason to do it now it will be more interesting.
I understand the reason is because the MC didn't become a guardian angel but why is it so important to him to become a guardian angel now?

I also think you need some negative stakes. What will happen if your MC does not succeed?
Now it sounds like this could go on forever and if the MC does not succeed it's not that big of a deal?
What happens if the MC doesn't become a guardian angel? will he die after a certain age? Will he become just regular?

These two things go together so i think you can try to put a ticking clock and a negative stake in log line.

Good luck :)