4 reviews
Good log lines have a sense of irony - what you are describing sound like everyday life. Ho hum. Irony in Tootsie was, a man who is not nice to women (he uses them) has to dress up like a woman to get a job. Wow! What a turning of the tables. So, maybe there's a relationship between the sugar daddy and his parents. Maybe it's her dad's ex-business partner, and the dad has no idea this was going on?
When a sugar daddy dumps his girlfriend, a daughter of an ex-business partner, the high school drop-out who loved living the rich life?returns to?real daddy and begins to plan?a way to?regain her glamorous lifestyle when he reveals that his ex-business partner stole all his money, money she now considers rightfully hers!
What Foxtrot25 wrote.
Define her in action towards a goal.
Also, the stakes seem very low. Sure, moving back in with the folks is not nice, but it ain't story worthy not nice. What else can you give her as a motivation to make it on her own?
"After being dumped by her sugar daddy, a spoiled millennial must (Do this thing) if she is to avoid the terrible fate of moving back in with her controlling parents."