After an unsuccessful, drug-abusing reality-tv producer travels to a small Oklahoma town to see her recently-widowed Grandmother, she joins a backwater group of amateur cold-case investigators and becomes determined to solve a legendary local murder rumored to have been perpetrated by her own family.

3 reviews

Jordan Pitt Penpusher · 61 pts

Definitely too long - 30 words or under will suffice. ?As soon as I get half way I switch off - short, sweet and to the point will be more effective.

dpg Singularity · 112,231 pts

As Nir Shelter said. ? There's no compelling, urgent reason, no "MUST solve or else" factor. And "After an unsuccessful, drug-abusing reality-tv producer" ?seems confusing and extraneous to the logline.

What are the stakes? ?What does she stand to lose if she fails to solve the murder? ?And other than the satisfaction of intellectual curiosity, what does she stand to gain by solving the murder?

Neer Shelter Singularity · 55,464 pts

Too long. Best you re draft this in under 30 words.

Why does she decide to solve the case? What is the inciting incident that motivates her to take action?