After a lovesick flight attendant and the wife of a doppelganger of a famous actor becomes pregnant by him, he sets out to convince them to share a home with him.

In my opinion it is the fact that this story idea says so much about the nature of our society, gender, superficiality, objectification? (for both male and female characters to some degree) that makes it interesting.? The characters are all flawed in ways that really cut to the bone for the point our society is at at the moment.

For this reason, it will be extremely delicate to tell, and I agree with dpg that so far the pitching has been a little indelicate - but this is not a discouragement. These things are hard. My advice is take the feedback and make sure you know the moral arch of the main character and can tell the story in a way that makes them likeable.

I agree with the other commenters that the meat of the story is still absent. "Sets out to convince them to share a house together" is the wrong action. "Sets out to make things right" is better, and I think the story then involves the protagonist learning about their perspectives and what he needs to do in order to make things right with them.

His motivation is a determination not to be a bad father to his children, perhaps because of his own absent father. He realises that he can't be a good father (to either a son or a daughter) without fixing his own emotional problems and learning to treat other people in his life with respect.

My comments reflect my concerns as to the marketability of the concept in light of the ongoing debates over the roles offered women in front of and behind the camera.

My first reaction was to stay WELL AWAY from this thread... but then I thought an impartial opinion could help clarify a few things.

First and foremost, we encourage all members to express their honest opinions about a story/logline in full - this is the only way we can actually learn from each other. If anyone finds someone's thoughts unpleasing or otherwise different to their own, no biggie, it happens all the time - my approach is to thank them for their time and move on to the next comment.

I believe that any remarks made with a social-political context about a concept are intended to highlight a marketing/pitching caveat rather than be a criticism of any kind. If this wasn't the case, then we do apologise - this website exists for the discussion of story in general, loglines in particular and nothing else.