Where screenwriters learn the form and logline their screen ideas.
This is the story of a rich and successful kid drawing artist who tries to paint a river to fulfill his artistic ego before he leaves, but the success of that project makes him realize the huge price it took, his animal family who raised him but left because they need the water from the river to survive.
good structure and tone, just needs to make sense.
What is the event? the event has to happen to the protagonist. also try sticking to the formula, state the event then the character and then the action, it gives the reader a clearer understanding of what the story is.
It's difficult to comment on the quality of the logline without being able to understand the plot.
I have all the same questions as Spencer222 and a few more:
How old is the protagonist?
Where is his home?
How did he become rich and successful?
How can you unfreeze a painted river? If this story has fantastical elements, it should be in the Fantasy genre.
Again, as Spencer222 said, check out this site's suggested format and give it another go.