In a single year, a guardian haunted by irrational horrors must rebuild a broken world and find the cure to save the princess from her fatal destiny.

by NavCR 33 pts

Greetings, community.

I’m back with another logline Adventure and soft cosmic horror. This time not only I want you to help me with my clarity in writting, because I’ve practicing since my last logline. I also want to know if you understand what the story is about and send feedback.

Feel free to ask about the lore.

Thank you.

1 review

JJQUINTANA 27 pts

Hi NavCR and thanks for your comments on my logline.

I read yours. My first reaction is that it may feel a little vague.
First: Why in a single year? He has a due date - if so, it may be expressed wit shome more urgency (Like A tormented guardian has only 365 days to rebuild a broken world...)

I understand the main hero is a guardian who, probably had done horrible things and that's why he's haunted by his past. Is that correct? Mmm... but they are irrational... So, are these horrors something he can't even understand?

Now, who's the princess and why is the guardian wanting to save her? Love? Is this a love story? I have that impression because if not, he would be saving the world.

I hope my questions help you. Now, I think this site is pretty dead, eh? No one shows up, no one makes comments... Weird.

Anyway-Have a great day.