A wannabe activist who aspires to join a larger action group gets a job at a mysterious energy company he believes is involved in illegal activities.

2 reviews

savinh0 Mentor · 3,334 pts

Sounds like a promising idea!

Just make sure to be more specific in your wording. He needs to have a clear outer goal (want) that is properly described in your logline.

And yes, "environmental activist" sounds better than just "activist", because it gives the reader a clear vision of the main character and his background.

dpg Singularity · 112,231 pts

What does he want to be active about?? I'm guessing it has something to do with environmental? issues.? But a logline should not leave a reader guessing what the role of the main character is.? So be specific:? "An environmental activist...."

What becomes his objective goal as a result of joining the energy company?? ?What specifically does he want to uncover,? to expose? "Illegal activities" is too general, can cover a wide range of malfeasance.? ?In "Erin Brockovich" the protagonist must prove that a plague of illnesses in a community is the result of the energy utility dumping toxic waste into the groundwater.