A violent gangster turns vigilante when his young son is murdered, but when he executes an undercover cop, his operation backfires.
The Executor
Where screenwriters learn the form and logline their screen ideas.
The Executor
This is an interesting story. I appreciate the process in this forum, to help writers work through their ideas.
I think the original was good.
Regarding the word "grooming" used in the later version, it didn't strike me as a negative, when I read it. I hope we get to read the script when you finish it!
Just change the ending, maybe you can write the entire logline in some similar form.
I HAVE to leave a positive review when I see a log line scenario that is intriguing AND... I believe not only COULD happen in real life but probably WILL eventually happen in real life. I love stories that seem utterly plausible, unique, and "inevitable", in other words. Since I cannot add anything substantive to the great comments posted before mine, I'll leave it at that. KUDOS!