A vampire hunter is frustrated when an isolated Mississippi town decides due process must be followed before she will be allowed to stake a dangerous vampire. – Blood and Justice

2 reviews

victortiti89 Penpusher · 66 pts

Very interesting story idea... Just make sure you follow what others have to say and it will make for an awesome story. The only thing I wouldn't personally like is to turn this into a kind of drama, but that's just my personal taste... Anyway, good luck with this! I'd surely hope to see this on screen one day!:)

dpg Singularity · 112,231 pts

So.... what becomes her strategy, her game plan for getting the dangerous vampire staked?

The logline sets up a problem, but it doesn't indicate where the story is headed, what path the protagonist takes to solve her problem. (Not that a logline should contain a spoiler, give away the ending. But it should indicate the direction of the story, specifically in this case what the protagonist is going to do other than be frustrated.)

And it should indicate what the stakes are -- what the protagonist has to gain , lose by failing.

fwiw.