A spy with a big mouth must destroy an enemy radar station before more planes are shot down.

by mop1011 Penpusher · 156 pts 1,010 views

5 reviews

mop1011 Penpusher · 156 pts

You each make excellent points, however Eathan correctly ?deduced that I should have used the adjective "brash" to describe my protagonist's overly confident, insubordinate attitude.

I currently have almost thirty versions of the logline and still haven't nailed it. But I will.
Thanks for the coverage.

mop1011

Eethan Samurai · 1,561 pts

Hi mop1011,

As Richiev pointed out, the inciting incident is missing. Why must this big mouthed spy destroy an enemy radar station before more planes are shot down? What happens to make the MC take this course of action?

And a spy with a?big mouth in my head sounds comical in a good way because of the irony. Unless you mean he's a big mouth in that he's brash and arrogant...

Richiev Singularity · 82,714 pts

What is the inciting incident? What is the time frame?