A space explorer leads an expedition after believing to have discovered paradise which gradually descends into madness.

5 reviews

dpg Singularity · 112,231 pts

The goal is obvious enough to me (although the wording may need a polish): ?he's Moses-in-outer-space leading his crew to ?a better world, to an alluring paradise.

But is it the real deal, or only a mirage? ?Is the descent into madness the result of pursuing a delusion?

I sense some interesting raw ore for a psycho-drama, but I think the concept needs refining.

Neer Shelter Singularity · 55,464 pts

Is finding paradise the inciting incident? If so what is the causal connection to his goal? And as Richiev asked, what is his goal?

Richiev Singularity · 82,714 pts

You have not given us a goal for the lead character, that is an important missing piece of your logline.
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"As he explores an idyllic planet which ?could serve as the new home for humanity, an intrepid explore must fight his way back to his spaceship when the supposed Paradise turns deadly."