A solitary man unable to sleep for 15 years survives by recording everything he sees and playing it back to differentiate between reality and hallucinations, until he becomes the only witness of a multi million dollar crime and every single person wants to alter his reality.

It is a sci fic in terms that the condition is nonexistent. its a medical trial gone wrong, this person survives thorough a lot of medications and isolation from the world. now his brain has had too many toxins and his only chance for survival is to go into an induced coma and let the brain "heal". But afraid of going insane while he dreams in a coma state, he sets out to fabricate the perfect happy dream, by following and recording a woman who he has fallen in love with, and playing back her videos over and over. However while stalking her he becomes the only witness of _insert crime_, When before she rejected him as a psycho, now she seduces him and starts editing his footage, which until now has been the only connection to reality that he could trust. He is on a race against sanity and his brain switching off, and he needs to fabricate his dream before it turns into a long nightmare.

-- i understand there is a lot of things at play, this log line exercise has been really interesting and thank you all for the feedback. I'll keep working on it :)

That is rather radical surgery to the concept. And, it seems to me, unnecessary. I am drawn to the original premise of a man's testimony being in doubt because of momentary hallucinations arising from his disorder. That's the hook.

I tried to shorten the premise with......When a grieving husband has a stroke he awakens to discover his desire for revenge has become reality.
Best of Luck ;)

I Applaud your efforts at a High Concept .....Inception type premise.
However i think as DPG Says it is important to know the distinction and specific rules of the Story.
Know the World of the story before writing the Story.
Seems to complex.
Needs to be clearer.
Goodluck :)

Bear in mind it is easy to fault peoples efforts but to post log lines is a learning , sculpting and refining process necessary to learn the importance of the Structure.

No Guts No Glory.

Narcolepsy is a disorder marked by chronic sleepiness. So what does he suffer from -- chronic insomnia or chronic sleepiness?

People suffering from narcolepsy may experience hipnagogic hallucinations, but so may people not suffering from narcolepsy -- its a normal momentary mental phenomenon. Momentary hypnopompic hallucinations may also be experienced when one is waking up -- again quite normal.

Neither momentary hipnagogic nor hypnopompic are considered markers of insanity, which is a chronic condition.

Now, if you want to do sci-fi riff off of a normative, benign, mental experience, okay, but the challenge is to get the reader -- and viewing audience -- to suspend disbelief, buy your premise. And right now, I'm not sure what I'm being invited to suspend disbelief about.

Also: why not that he witnesses a murder scene rather than a heist? 1] Higher stakes. 2] And works better with the nature of hypnagogic/hypnopompic hallucinations: their brevity. A murder could take place in a few seconds; a heist may take many more seconds to transpire.

Thanks guys, How about this?

When a man with narcolepsy who struggles to tell reality from hallucinations witnesses a bank heist, he must remain sane as the thief seduces him trying to alter the evidence that resides deep in his mind.