A sniper forces a flash mob to perform their routines in Times Square, until an international terrorist is released, if they stop…They die!

It isn't a prison break. It's more like what's going on now, with the release of the terrorists. I'm trying to say in this story, "How many lives need to be lost before it becomes worth it."

The International Prisoner Transfer Program began in 1977 when our government negotiated the first in a series of treaties to permit the transfer of prisoners from countries in which they had been convicted of crimes to their home countries.

Just a quick question? What is an International Prisoner?

Aah... see, I thought the international prisoner was good, not evil (s/he is being held prisoner after all!) But if a flash mob was used to conceal the escape, it's another story completely...

The problem is that if the flashmob are being forced at gunpoint, wouldn't the world pay attention? If the prisoner is around that area, it's the last place they'd want anyone to look. Unless the prisoner is somewhere else... which is a good idea, but I don't know if a flashmob is enough to divert people's attention away from something as serious as this prisoner escaping.

Your logline shouldn't have me thinking this much! :P Try to answer some of those questions from the onset...

Maybe, but the way it was written, it sounded as if the flash mob was going to be used as a distraction for the snipers to help the prisoner escape.

You're right, if it's in Baghdad it will be more interesting, but not fun to look at. Besides I want the real flash mob to look at the buildings to see if there's a laser pointed at them.

That's the fun.

Until they're all shot, Richiev? ;)

You need a lead character.

A flash mob in Time Square would be normal.
A flash mob in downtown Baghdad would be far more interesting.

You had me at "To fee an international prisoner, a band of snipers...", but then lost me after that. Actually, just thinking about it, it does make sense - if the flashmob was a demand set by the hostage takers? It would be a nice balance between the seriousness and a bit of light comedy, but I would try for something a bit more convincing.

An interesting situation, but I can't see how being forced to perform in Times Square will gain any prisoner's freedom. Given all the spectacle and street life at that location, it would be difficult enough getting people to notice. :-)

Hey, Chris! I don't think there's enough "meat" there. You haven't identified a specific protagonist or antagonist. Who's your leading character? What do they want? Who's your bad guy? What does he want? Eventually your script will boil down to your lead's journey, which is what your logline should be about.