A highly cultivated test subject flees the clutches of a CIA organization and must determine the purpose of his program while evading capture from government officials.

7 reviews

dpg Singularity · 112,231 pts

>>>Escaping torturous experimentation
Do we know that? ?All we learn is that he had special training. ?Whatever, it's not the story hook.

To my way of thinking, the first question to answer in writing ?a logline is: ?what is the story hook? ?The logline should be framed around the answer to that question. ?Nir Shelter's version, better than mine, ?frames the hook of "The Bourne Identity". ?And the hook is the mystery: ?why/how did the protagonist end up floating unconscious in the Mediterranean?

CraigDGriffiths Singularity · 20,463 pts

Cultivate seems like the wrong word. It doesn't mean anything in the context of the logline.

Why does he need to figure it out? Would escape by the goal. Why not start with the reason why he has to figure it out.

"Escaping torturous experimentation a guy must discover the reason why to ......."

Neer Shelter Singularity · 55,464 pts

I beg to differ.

I believe The Bourn Identity is unique in that it opens on the inciting incident - the MC waking up with amnesia on a strange boat in the middle of the ocean. This unusual set of circumstances, for me anyhow, is really what starts him off on his quest to figure out where he came from and what he was doing - his goal. Him discovering his skills and true identity come as a result of his quest for answers.

Therefor:
After an assassin wakes up with amnesia in the middle of the Mediterranian Sea, he must fight secret agents to stay alive in order to find out his true identity.