10 reviews
I concur with Nir Shelter that "Locke" is something of a one-off.
Further I would argue that ?"Locke" is not necessarily a good example for a newbie, someone trying to break into the business with their 1st sale, to emulate as their entree project, the one they hope will get their foot in the door.
?"Locke" was written and directed by someone who was already well established in the the movie business, who had a track record of produced scripts, an agent, connections ?-- advantages a newbie needs for a project like this and doesn't have. If it had been his first writing effort, I doubt if he could have gotten it made. This is something I think aspiring writers need to evaluate in pointing to this or that movie to justify the kind of story they are writing. ?At what point in the writer's career, did he get the film that is similar to the one you have in mind, made? ?Was it is his first effort or was it a project he got green lit after he had become established in the industry?
As an aspiring writer myself, a newbie trying to break into the business, I'm leading with what I think is my most marketable idea. ?Not the one nearest and dearest to my arteriosclerotic ?heart. ?(Although I am quite passionate about my lead project -- passion is a sin qua non to writing, of course.)?
fwiw
Inner turmoil makes for good reading, but not good viewing.
The example discussed above, Locke, was not a huge hit but found a cult following so it worked well to some degree. The conflict was conveyed as exposition via discussions, and I wage lost a large portion of the audience as a result. However, it is a once off rare anomalous example of brilliant directing and acting that made up for a lack of cinematic story telling. There was also the odd scene out of the car in which Locke's assistant was forced to take action and save the concrete pour, so arguably even Locke had to give the audience a visual representation of action towards a goal.
Point is, it should not be taken as a good example to model a film after, if anything, it should be seen as a cautionary tale. The all shot in a single vehicle sit down drama has been done and anything else will be seen as a rip off - it's not an original gimmick anymore.
Aside from the above, regardless the visual and blocking style, you need to give the character a need and an obstacle both of which are currently missing in the logline. What's the worst that will definitely happen if he doesn't have a life affirming conversation?? And what motivates him to have the conversation?
I like the idea because it can be shot on a low budget.
However the logline should contain the goal for the lead character and conflict.
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"After his wife dies of cancer, a despondent truck driver travels across the country to commit suicide on his wife's grave, but his plans are jeopardized when, over the CB, a persistent Lorrie driver determines to save him."
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Obviously your story will be different but in my example there is an inciting incident; we know why the truck driver is grieving, and we have a goal; the truck driver is determined to kill himself on his wife's grave... and we have conflict; something standing in the way of the lead character's goal in the form of the persistent Lorrie driver.