6 reviews
The character name should be removed from the logline. Unless it is a story about a widely recognised historical character such as Jesus or Ghandi, which most producers would know, other wise it parts with convention and is therefore unnecessary.
Regardless the fact that this story is based on Arab folklore, you should take the liberty of adapting it to the screen. This means structuring into the plot more conventional story elements such as cinematic inciting incidents, goals and action. Cinematic means visual, something that can be photographed and understood by the audience without exposition. Therefore Ethan's suggestion of enslaving the Arab people - show their plight and need for freedom, and Richiev's suggestion that awakening a dream is not a good goal for the screen?- what achievement can visually explain that the MC succeeded and his people are free? Perhaps him killing Gadab or the Barbarian armies retreating from the peninsula would make for better goals.
This has the making of?an epic story, and would possibly require either a sequel or a few TV seasons to complete, I strongly suggest the latter and therefore best to get your basic structure solid at this early stage.
For example:
After a Barbarian war lord kills his father, a fearless prince must unite all the Arab tribes in order to lead an army to free them from slavery.?
28 words
I made the antagonist kill his father so it has a personal stake as well as a social one, I also specified the action he will have to take in order to achieve his goal of freedom.?
I don't know a lot about Arabian tales but this seems very thin as far as a screenplay idea. Is the dream a genie? If it is just say that. As for the story itself about saving the peninsular you just need to make that all clearer (and you can leave character names from log-lines unless EVERYONE knows them already)
I don't know a lot about Arabian tales but this seems very thin as far as a screenplay idea. Is the dream a genie? If it is just say that. As for the story itself about saving the peninsular you just need to make that all clearer (and you can leave character names from log-lines unless EVERYONE knows them already)