A homicide detective goes on the run to prove his innocence after he?s framed for murder by a malevolent police cyber-intelligence.

Thanks Nir. Everyone's input has been fantastic.

Hi Leeb0159.

The latest draft of the logline reads best and outlines a clear plot personally I prefer the second option:

"After being framed for murder by a malevolent police cyber-intelligence, a homicide detective goes on the run to prove his innocence."

That makes sense. I think I might just simplify everything and reveal the true antag in logline. How do either of these revisions read? Thanks for the invaluable feedback.

A homicide detective goes on the run to prove his innocence after he?s framed for murder by a malevolent police cyber-intelligence.

After being framed for murder by a malevolent police cyber-intelligence, a homicide detective goes on the run to prove his innocence.

This re draft is still missing a crucial element the inciting incident i.e starting point. It also adds almost an entire sentence buffer between the begin gin of the logline and the plot.

"In a future where past homicides can be viewed in real-time," - is redundant. Better to replace it with an inciting incident that sets the detective off on his journey to fight to prove his innocence.

Thanks Nir. I see where you're coming from. It seems I have to restructure the logline to set up the world of the story. Maybe something like this:

In a future where past homicides can be viewed in real-time, a detective fights to prove his innocence when he?s framed for murder by a killer he once captured and saw executed.

Best to word a logline in a way that depicts a story, after a significant event happens to this main character he or she must take a compelling action to achieve a clear goal. I.e; instead of "Framed for murder," which is an obscure time reference and strange way to start a sentence specify: After he was framed for murder...

Better to determine specifics rather than hint at potentials instead of "?seemingly?" just use he returned.

Lastly better to connect the inciting incident with the goal if he is being framed for murder he must do something about that and prove his innocence not just catch the killer as a separate item.

E.g:
After being framed for murder a detective must hunt down the real killer which he put on the electric chair years before to prove his innocence.