Leebo159

Thanks Nir. Everyone's input has been fantastic.

This concept seems similar to a movie called "Push." You may want to put a unique/different spin on the concept to separate your story from Push and others like it. Maybe tell us more about what job the protag is…

Thanks Nir. I see where you're coming from. It seems I have to restructure the logline to set up the world of the story. Maybe something like this: In a future where past homicides can be viewed in real-time, a…

Thanks Russ and Nir Shelter. Great feedback. Hopefully this revision works: Framed for murder, a detective hunts a homicidal scientist he captured and saw executed, who has seemingly returned to launch a new, more terrifying killing spree.

I like this. Just have a few revisions. After killing his boss, a coked-up drug dealer goes on a sleep deprived rampage murdering his way up to become the next drug kingpin.. I don't think you need 2 day. Maybe…

How about this? A college hoop star?s faith clashes with forgiveness when he discovers that his mother is a fugitive who raised him under an assumed identity.

Thanks Richiev. I like elements of your revised logline. That's pretty incredible that elements within your logline are what happen in the script. My concern with your revision is that it may take too long to get to the protag.…

How about this? Two best friends with Down Syndrome learn they've been selected to participate in a controversial project that increases intelligence. But when the friends uncover that the doctor running the program is brainwashing his other test subjects, they…

My questions are, was the hoop star abducted or adopted? If he was abducted, does he know he was abducted or does he just think he was adopted but he was actually abducted? Maybe instead of "unexpected obstacles" you could…