A debilitated wildlife ranger discovers mutilated human remains, survives a Lycanthrope attack. He struggles to find safety from a group of sadistic werewolf hunters hot on his tail

Title: Wolfbane
Horror/Thriller

“A debilitated wildlife ranger discovers mutilated human remains, survives a Lycanthrope attack.
He struggles to find safety from a group of sadistic werewolf hunters hot on his tail”

Revised logline

I’m getting closer 🙂

10 reviews

Andrew Bates Penpusher · 270 pts

sorry, bad typo "no known cure" so the cure is the goal.
"preserving wildlife" I was showing what the character was doing before the i.i, but since the title is in the name, I'm better off without it i think.

"A lone tracker survives a werewolf attack. No known cure and a new moon rising, his answers lie with the sadistic poachers pursuing him"

Thanks for the help, Joy. :)

Former member Penpusher · 20 pts

Hi..
I have a question.. hi sanswers to what? To finding a cure? but there is no cure. so what is his goal? To find answers...?
And I am not sure that "preserving wildlife" really adds to the character for me.
my 2 cents...
joy

Andrew Bates Penpusher · 270 pts

Hi Chris
Cheers for the feedback. Any advice is good advice.

The remains were just someone that was attacked, so little importance.

here is the updated version

A lone tracker preserving wildlife survives a werewolf attack. No cure and a new moon rising. His answers lie with the sadistic poachers pursuing him? (25 words)

Chris Andrews Penpusher · 35 pts

I love a good werewolf story! Having seen a few, I can suggest that although the concept is workable, I'm not sure the logline helps it stand apart enough. ie, standard werewolf story. I think it needs a little more of 'something' to hook us.

I'd also consider tightening it up a little. For example, how important is the discovery of the remains? I'd also recommend cutting it down/reworking it into a single sentence of no more than 25 words (that's just a personal limit, but it seems to work nicely).

Hope this helps.

Andrew Bates Penpusher · 270 pts

"A lone tracker preserving wildlife survives a werewolf attack. No cure and a new moon rising. His answers lie with the sadistic poachers who pursue him"

Andrew Bates Penpusher · 270 pts

Revised

"A lone tracker preserving wildlife survives a werewolf attack. No cure and a new moon rising, the sadistic poachers on his tail have all the answers"

What do you think?