A couple stuggles to make sense of their troubled relationship as the end of the world draws closer

Revelations

2 reviews

arifnash 0 pts

too general, probably you should avoid using vague phrase: to make sense? (more specific, how?), trouble relationship (what? why 'trouble'?), the end of the world draws closer (you can also be more specific here, how? what stake? the event is just huge). Keep spirit!

Former member Penpusher · 20 pts

Great stakes and a clear inner journey - but no story.

"Struggles to make sense of their trouble relationship" is not a cinematic promise at all. It's people talking and bickering. Seen too many of those.

How can you make it attractive? I would say at least one of the characters also needs a clear visible goal that is not open-ended.

Best to read our tips on this site and some of the comments to other loglines, so you get a better feel for it before you give it another go.

Finally: no typos allowed in loglines!

Happy loglining!