250 years after an asteroid impact leaves one side of Earth continually facing the sun, a lone outsider tries to find a new home in an increasingly more hostile world with the help of a physical manifestation of his soul.

2 reviews

Odie Samurai · 2,208 pts

Sounds intriguing dandahlson,

  • When I first read the logline, I read into it ?a lone outsider tries to find a new world? ? because I couldn?t wrap my head around this asteroid stopping the rotation/axis of the earth so that only a single side faces the sun? Please elaborate.
  • "a lone outsider" is hard to picture, I get since the asteroid there are fewer folks, but I believe this protag description can be strengthened. Why is he an outsider?
  • Add more intent by replacing ?tries to find? with: must, is forced, etc.
  • Why is the world more hostile? Is it now a post-apocalyptic setting? Are earth's creatures/people feral?
  • I see this physical manifestation (soul) as him talking to himself as he journeys, is that right?
  • Finally, what happens if he does not find a new home in time or loses is his soul?

Take care.

Mandavirmais Samurai · 696 pts

Sounds interesting but the soul part needs more info... this asteroid changed something that allowed for the physical manifestation of human souls?