Jobe lives with his alcoholic father who was once a champion runner. Jobe, a misfit and loner, has inherited his father’s athletic ability. Ex-Olympian, Harry White, sets about mentoring his athletic ability It is now up to Harry to encourage Jobe to dig deep and decide what type of man he wants to become

Firstly, if Jobe is a "misfit and loner", what is his motivation for undergoing the greuling training involved in being a serious athlete. Why would he bother to suffer this training? To gain his father's acceptance? (Lame and trite.) To redeem his father's downfall into alcoholism? (A bit trite, but workable.) Or what? The logline does not tell us and we need to know to start 'rooting' for Jobe.

Secondly, though there is the implication that Jobe's father will put obstacles in Jobe's goal to be an athlete, it is not clear that the father is an impressive antagonist. The father might be a big and strong man, or - just as easily - a pathetic and slouching drunk. The logline does not tell us which and this makes a big difference to the dramatic tension possibilities.

Steven Fernandez (Judge)

First of all, you've provided too much (mostly unnecessary) information. For the purposes of what I really know about this film, you've indicated that an athlete, who lives in the shadow of his alcoholic father's faded glory, is mentored by an ex-olympian. That's it. It's not a story, that's the set up for the story. What is the protag's goal, what are the forces opposing him, and what are the stakes if he fails?

Also, names are completely unnecessary in a logline, so I'd drop them.

Finally, this logline is unclear who the main character is, because you start with Jobe, but the only person you've indicated actually has a purpose in the film is Harry White - who must encourage Jobe to perform at his best. Presumably it is Jobe's story, so I'd be careful about describing the mentor character's arc.