jamesmichael

1 points

299 points to Logliner

63 loglines
52 reviews

Loglines

Discovering that her estranged father has stolen a map to Neverland, an independent rouge agrees to deliver it to a banished Captain Hook, battling against Peter Pan and his Lost Boys in the process.

July 9, 2014
When a governmental Space Station gets taken by a terrorist organisation, its headstrong Chief Architect must escape upon learning that the terrorists have also kidnapped her disabled husband back on earth.

August 17, 2013
When a government Space station is taken over by a terrorist organisation, its paper pushing engineer must escape to help protect both his wife and national security

April 4, 2013
Three southern women defend their home from the Union army while their husbands are off fighting in the Civil War.

January 27, 2013
A woman recalls her close relationship with her famous novelist father while struggling to overcome her fear of emotional involvement with her first real boyfriend.

January 27, 2013
When three friends go missing on a camping trip in a forest rumored to be haunted, the two left behind discover clues that lead them to a safe deposit box containing video tapes? showing exactly what happened to their friends.

January 27, 2013
A Mossad employed father and his CIA agent son team up to hunt an escaped Nazi.

January 27, 2013
When alien crafts land around the world, a linguistics expert is recruited by the military to determine whether they come in peace or are a threat. As she learns to communicate with the aliens, she begins experiencing vivid flashbacks that become the key to unlocking the greater mystery about the true purpose of their visit.

January 27, 2013
As a young man, Ted Geisel meets his future wife Helen, who encourages his fanciful drawings, and in the 1950s when Ted is struggling professionally, Helen helps inspire the children?s book that will become his first big hit, ?The Cat in the Hat.

January 27, 2013
On the day of the NFL Draft, Bills General Manager Sonny Weaver has the opportunity to save football in Buffalo when he trades for the number one pick. He must quickly decide what he?s willing to sacrifice in pursuit of perfection as the lines between his personal and professional life become blurred.

January 27, 2013
Bella from the Planet Kabbalore is caught up in a civil war on the planet Delta 5. After a request from Delta 5's Governor Zelack, the President of the New Commonwealthsends a rescue party, consisting of NSPA Agents and Commonwealth Search and Rescue teams. Their ship is attacked and the party crash lands and are left for dead on a planet which is occupied by intelligent undead and enemy soldiers

September 17, 2012
Jordan Rhodes is an honest detective investigating the heinous murder of a leading talent agent. As he delves into a melting pot of beauty, ego and violence, the stakes are raised when the killer distributes horrific crime-scene photographs to the press, thrusting a reluctant Jordan into the spotlight in a city where everybody wants to be famous.

September 17, 2012
Sam Durelle and her younger sister are home alone when a knock at the door leads Sam down the road to terror. Abducted by a serial-killer couple, Sam manages toescape and find refuge in a desolate farmhouse, only to discover it is home to a malevolent spirit. Trapped in the house, Sam is propelled into a struggle for survival, one that will push her to the limits not only physically and emotionally, but spiritually.

September 17, 2012
DROWN is a hard hitting feature film about bullying andhomophobia. Three surf lifesavers on a big night out. jealousy, homophobic fears and unrequited lust culminate in a tragic booze-fueled episode of near-fatal bullying.

September 17, 2012
In 1996, five best friends discover an abandoned truckload of bush weed dumped in a roadside rest area in outback Australia. Cashing in on their lucky find, the young men take control of the local gunja trade and are thrust into an underworld of Calabrian Mafia, outlaw bikers, Woodcutters from Hell, truckers and speed-dealing milk bar owners, all looking for their cut of the score.

September 17, 2012
An ex footballer embroiled in a scandal returns home to clear his name and reignite an old flame, but revelations regarding the shameful aftermath of his team's grand final once again threaten to turn his life upside down

September 17, 2012
A single mother, plagued by the violent death of her husband, battles with her son?s fear of a monster lurking in the house, but soon discovers a sinister presence all around her.

September 17, 2012
Set around the riots in Redfern during 2004 AROUND THE BLOCK is about breaking family and cultural cycles for a hopeful future. A contemporary story of love, revenge andtriumph, a young Aboriginal boy becomes torn between his unexpected love of acting and the disintegration of his family

September 17, 2012
THE 5TH SHADOW is a dark, surreal thriller with a troubled protagonist, searching for one last masterpiece and a mysterious villain. This is the deep exploration of a disturbed man, alone in a world that has no place for him and the razor thin line between dream and reality.

September 17, 2012
Jobe lives with his alcoholic father who was once a champion runner. Jobe, a misfit and loner, has inherited his father’s athletic ability. Ex-Olympian, Harry White, sets about mentoring his athletic ability It is now up to Harry to encourage Jobe to dig deep and decide what type of man he wants to become

September 17, 2012

Recent reviews

on Discovering that her estranged father has stolen a map to Neverland, an independent rouge agrees to deliver it to a banished Captain Hook, battling against Peter Pan and his Lost Boys in the process.

Great suggestions Richiev I honestly didnt even think of it from that point of view but that definately makes sense. The basic premise is that she gets blackmailed into it by Hook but changes sides mid-way through the script. Obviosuly…
on Discovering that her estranged father has stolen a map to Neverland, an independent rouge agrees to deliver it to a banished Captain Hook, battling against Peter Pan and his Lost Boys in the process.

New Version - When an independent teen discovers that her estranged father has stolen a map to Neverland she agrees to deliver it to a banished Captain Hook, battling Peter Pan and his Lost Boys in the process
on A group of people spends weekend in a cottage where they lost one friend ten years ago but they don't know that two of them have been in a secret relationship and it was that accident that had brought them together.

DPG (in all his briefness) is 100% correct. You've given us zero story here. Really what you've provided is the first 15 pages of the script summurised into 41 words. I mean what is this about? Is it a horror…
on The lives of three teenage girls competing for their shot in the spotlight are put in danger when a horribly disfigured man living beneath the stage claims them as his lovers.

Ok so this is a pretty good start but I think it could still do with some changes. You have the protagonist (good) their goal (good) and the obstacle (also really good). What you really need to do though is…
on When a governmental Space Station gets taken by a terrorist organisation, its headstrong Chief Architect must escape upon learning that the terrorists have also kidnapped her disabled husband back on earth.

Thanks guys, all interesting points. Ive already planned and written over half of it so i dont think ill be making any of these extremely drastic changes that youve suggested. But they're all still good to have on the back…
on When a governmental Space Station gets taken by a terrorist organisation, its headstrong Chief Architect must escape upon learning that the terrorists have also kidnapped her disabled husband back on earth.

Thanks guys. You both bring up some interesting points. I think my main problem is that that third act takes place off the station and back on Earth. I may have to think about changing this. Or if not, give…
on When a governmental Space Station gets taken by a terrorist organisation, its headstrong Chief Architect must escape upon learning that the terrorists have also kidnapped her disabled husband back on earth.

Hey Richiev, That kind of is what happens hah. She doesnt manage to escape until the end of the second Act. This is after she tries to escape and avoid the terrorists while also hindering their plans. Becuase I wanted…
on In the city of the future, a young man takes on a series of mind-bending, gladiatorial games to win back the woman he loves. If he dies, she suffers; but to survive, he?ll have to break the city?s only rule.

I really like this idea. I think it would benefit though if you change the way it's written, only slighty. A logline is about making the story as clear as possible. To do this I suggest writing it as a…
on When an ex UN officer turned professional election fixer working to ensure victory for a brutal dictator is scapegoated by his latest client, he uses every dirty trick he knows to try and win power for a little-known rebel group that not only promises freedom for their people – but payback for him.

This isnt bad, the structure is all right but there's way to must info being thrown at the reader. Firstly, take the second line "working to ensure victory for a brutal dictator is scapegoated by his latest client" and condense…
on A group of high school kids discover how to time travel, but fail to recognize the potential consequences.

This is "Situation over Story." If we did the same thing for 'Back to the Future' we'd get almost the exact same logline.
on A nerdy kid from New York City moves to Oakland and tries to get the most popular girl in school to ask him out.

This is a very solid logline. The genre is clear, the protag is there (complete with flaw) and the goal is pretty obvious. The only thing (and this is me being picky) is maybe putting in why he wants the…
on Discovering they're demigoddesses and guardians of four mystical keys, a geeky push over, her estranged little sister, her former high school bully and her best frienemy must unite against a evil fallen goddess seeking to use the keys to reclaim her true power and enslave the planet.

You have all the key parts here for a logline, there's just way way to much going on to the point where it gets confusing. The best way to clear this up is pick a main character. Although there are…
on A college student attempts to raise funds for his survival, by hosting a huge house party during the initial days of a zombie outbreak. But when local law enforcement busts the party, we learn they?re not just there for the noise complaints.

I find this a little confusing and im not sure if its the premise or the way you've written it out in the logine. I think that by you just need to cut back on the information that you give.…
on When a cop determines that the ends justifies the means in keeping the streets safe he falls from grace and finds himself on the wrong side of the law running for his life.

That opening line about 'the ends justifying the means' sounds like you're over-explaining the character flaw. Try and find a word or two to condense this e.g 'reckless' but better I guess. You also need to add all the basic…
on A cop must track down a violent criminal loose in the crime free society of 2050 and learns something about the killer that is set to change her and this utopian society. Psychological thriller.

All the elements are here to make up a great logline. I think that it may take you a few goes to get it right though. Firstly, take out the 'psychological thriller.' If you've done your work properly with the…
on A young woman, kidnapped when she was a kid, returns home to the family she barely remembers and struggles to feel ?at home.?

Although the structure is all sound and most of the elements are all here, there's something a bit off about this logline. Maybe its because it's a little vague. Firstly, although you have given us the protag, i think for…
on Twelve-year old twin sisters, jealous of their father?s affection for his new bride, plot to do away with the untested stepmother, not knowing that she has similar plans for them.

This is much better than the original logline. You've given the twin sisters a clear goal and even an obstacle which is always good. The inciting incident could perhaps be a little clearer. As in, 'When their fathers affection for…
on A voyeuristic loner becomes convinced he?s being relentlessly stalked by a secret FBI task force out to drive him insane, erase his identity, and frame him for multiple sex-related homicides.

A couple of things can be easily fixed in this logline. Firstly, name your inciting incident. For this story thats going to be the event that either causes the FBI to start following him, or the event that makers him…
on A corporate executive is forced to choose between taking his dream job overseas with his new girlfriend or staying to try and repair his relationship with his estranged brooding teenage daughter when she announce she’s pregnant.

This is much better. I just think that changing the word order will make it much clearer "When his estranged teenage daughter announces she's pregnant, a coorporate executive must choose between strenthening his relationship with his new girlfriend or trying…
on 14 months after a virus wipes out the human race, a lone survivor fights to stay alive on the empty streets of London, battling her own mind as she looks back at the life she lost.

This is an interesting idea, but the logline is a little vague in its protagonist. The first line is great. It sets up the inciting incident perfectly. You just need to give the main character a goal.She needs to be…