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“A solitary chinese student gets lost one night during the end-of-year trip in Venice, encountering all kinds of nocturnal characters in a decadent suburb as he tries to find himself and his future.”
You have described a character and a series of events but there are no dramatic developments and so you don't actually have a story.
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When a giant great white shark terrorizes a New England beach town, a local sheriff must team up with a marine biologist and a grizzled fisherman to hunt down and destroy the beast before it can claim any more lives.
I suppose, in simple terms, the aim of a logline is to summarise a compelling and developing conflict, it's genre and key characters.
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When a giant great white shark terrorizes a New England beach town, a local sheriff must team up with a marine biologist and a grizzled fisherman to hunt down and destroy the beast before it can claim any more lives.
Loglines for action-adventure stories usually feature an active protagonist, but when it comes to thrillers the hero often starts out as a victim or in the case of neo-noir as an antihero. In both cases these characters are reacting to…
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A woman seeks vengeance against two men who made her life a living hell, her husband and a corrupt lawyer, but after she sets them up to kill on another, she struggles to prove her innocence when the police discover she had reason to kill them.
A pair of corrupt cops are determined to stop a battered wife from evading justice after she commits the perfect crime: she orchestrates her husband and a corrupt lawyer to kill one another.
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A teenage girl discovers a talking cat only to find out she must return him to his owners in 1970s Stockholm.
To give your story dramatic stakes there has to be a pressing reason why she needs the cat.
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During the festive week of Christmas, a lonely student, recovering from a break up, is tormented by an unknown entity in red when he writes a spiteful letter to Santa.
A Xmas comedy horror story. Original. Excellent. Lonely and heartbroken during Xmas, a student writes a spiteful letter to Santa and ends up tormented by a red devil.
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A teenage girl discovers a talking cat only to find out she must return him to his owners in 1970s Stockholm.
Is this a time travel movie? Also, please say why she needs to return the cat?
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The mob’s top enforcer does not experience fear or pain, he is selfless, loyal and incredibly focused but his life is on the line and he is running out of time because the headstrong and impulsive youth who steals £17m from the mob is always just one step ahead.
Interesting comments.
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A retired cavalry soldier is forced to partner with a Cheyenne Indian to track down a serial killer who has kidnaped his daughter.
How about a retired cavalry soldier whose wife/brother/family/sister was killed by an Indian war party?....
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The ambition of a young woman to be wealthy and own a portfolio of properties is stymied by the sudden death of her husband. But she continues to prioritise her need for success and wealth over the welfare of her teenage stepson. Feeling unloved he contemplates suicide. She is failing to reach her goal. From the tangles, bonds and mixed loyalties they find that success is a shared journey.
Great. I give you my time for free and you thank me by calling my comments 'vacuous'. Keep up this attitude and you will be a great success.
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The ambition of a young woman to be wealthy and own a portfolio of properties is stymied by the sudden death of her husband. But she continues to prioritise her need for success and wealth over the welfare of her teenage stepson. Feeling unloved he contemplates suicide. She is failing to reach her goal. From the tangles, bonds and mixed loyalties they find that success is a shared journey.
You still need to do more work on the logline. Save your money and study the great examples and breakdowns available on this website. When you get your logline right you will have a firmer grasp of your story.
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A headstrong and impulsive youth steals £230 million of mob funds and stays one step ahead of the top mob enforcer until he decides to donate it to a charitable cause.
Thanks. Appreciate your thoughts on this. The decision to donate the money happens at the top of the final act. This obviously is irreversible and will lead to very heavy consequences. So, he is sacrificing himself at the altar of…
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In a hotel bar on the main avenue of Naples, a famous psychoanalyst talks about his patients to his colleague, Giovanna, exposing human passions, virtues and weaknesses. Among them, Sergio and Julien stand out, whose intense love-hate relationship will affect the doctor to unsuspected extremes from which he will not get rid of easily.
To create dramatic conflict and forward movement, the doctor needs a strong goal or an obstacle.
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An ugly duckling gets a makover as an attractive pop star by being a normal teenage girl.
Your story needs a goal or an obstacle to create dramatic conflict for your character.
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A prostitute finds herself in a futuristic world of cyborgs with four other girls.
All of the above. Your logline needs a goal or an obstacle to generate dramatic conflict.
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A demoted FBI agent is sent on an administrative duty in a remote border town but, when a body is discovered, he tries to solve the mystery despite the reluctance of the local police and his boss.
OK. Give us the logline for the pilot and obviously it needs to work as a standalone movie and also as a setup for the series. You'll probably need 50-70 words to deliver all of this.
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The ambition of a young woman to be wealthy and own a portfolio of properties is stymied by the sudden death of her husband. But she continues to prioritise her need for success and wealth over the welfare of her teenage stepson. Feeling unloved he contemplates suicide. She is failing to reach her goal. From the tangles, bonds and mixed loyalties they find that success is a shared journey.
Your logline really needs to address an action or obstacle with sufficient drama to sustain an entire movie and test your protagonist.
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A demoted FBI agent is sent on an administrative duty in a remote border town but, when a body is discovered, he tries to solve the mystery despite the reluctance of the local police and his boss.
Nice set-up for your protagonist. Your logline really needs to address a highly dramatic action or obstacle along with a worthy antagonist to test your protagonist.
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Members of an elite surveillance team are being murdered one by one as they relentlessly track down the brutal killers of a young trainee.
Having second thoughts, I did some checking and it's perfectly OK to have a group protagonist. Here are some examples: After a simple jewelry heist goes terribly wrong, the surviving criminals begin to suspect that one of them is a…
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Members of an elite surveillance team are being murdered one by one as they relentlessly track down the brutal killers of a young trainee.
I know, I know. "A tenacious surveillance operator and his crack team are being murdered one by one as they relentlessly track down the brutal killers of a young trainee". Still prefer the original. I like the idea of a…
