In the depths of the depression, a small time con artist teams up with a seasoned pro to con $500,000 from a ruthless mobster to avenge the mobster’s murder of his mentor.
(32 words)
The Sting
(1973)
Where screenwriters learn the form and logline their screen ideas.
(32 words)
The Sting
(1973)
This story has a lot of possibilities. It could be a comedy like "The Sting" or a thriller like "The Godfather." A lot will depend on the character of the con artist.
I wasn’t sure who the mentor had the relationship with but it seems to have been clarified. It looks like something I’d enjoy seeing
The pro is seasoned but in a slump. And the man killed by the mobster was a beloved friend of the pro.
Nir:
I believe it is more effective for the logline to specifically indicate the method for getting revenge, to wit, pull off a long con. As if there was another option given the characters' profession. But still.
A great example, I'd make the wording a bit more "active sounding".
For example:
After a ruthless mobster kills his mentor, a small-time con artist takes revenge by teaming up with a seasoned pro to get half a million out of the murderer.
Only thing I am not sure of is what is the inciting incident is (Death of partner, offer to rob)
Like Karel mentioned, I think putting the death up top provides motivation
Also why does the pro want in? If a pro I imagine doing well. If the pro was ‘washed up’ or this was a chance at redemption as well?
One of my absolute favourite classics.
The 'formula version' would be something like:
"When his mentor is murdered by a ruthless mobster in the depths of the depression, a small time con artist must take revenge by teaming up with a seasoned pro to con $500,000 from the mobster."