2 reviews
When a charming, but oversensitive mystical Crane experiences an unexpected pregnancy
by an obsessive Anaconda, she must find courage to avoid the anguish of losing a child with potent magical powers.
It's 84 words, which is excessive, even for Logline It, where we are VERY lenient with word count! Try trimming this down to half, by eliminating non-essential words.
"In a world where mystical creatures harness extraordinary powers" is unnecessary as this is common for fantasy stories.
"Graceful crane" only gives us a strength, while we need flaws to indicate potential for growth/change.
Check our formula for logline-writing, and rewrite along the lines of:
"When a [flawed] crane lays a magic egg, she must [delete all this] save her life and that of her beloved anaconda.
The second half of the synopsis switches protagonists to the anaconda. Pick one.