When a 12 year old girl becomes under protection of a hitmen, she must learn the tools of the trade to avenge her parents assassinated by gangsters.

I've been mulling over this film recently and here's my take:

When gangsters kill her parents, a 12-year old girl finds protection and a mentor in a hit man who agrees to her demand to be taught how to get revenge.

(30 words)

I thought that including the true(?) inciting incident would (murder of their parents) would make it clutter but your take doesn't look that much cluttered... good work.

The killing and her coming under protection of Leon happen so close together in the film that they are almost within the same story beat, so that isn't a huge issue. However, her coming under the protection of Leon doesn't really relate to her plot-line as far, as this logline is concerned, because it raises questions like "why is she under his protection and not an uncle or orphanage?" so, maybe,? try something like:

"When a 12 year old girl comes home to see her family murdered, she hides out in a friendly neighbours apartment only to discover that he is a lethal hitman and tries to convince him to train her so she can get her revenge."

It's quite long and clunky but all the necessary beats are there. Hope this helps.

The killing and her coming under protection of Leon happen so close together in the film that they are almost within the same story beat, so that isn't a huge issue. However, her coming under the protection of Leon doesn't really relate to her plot-line as far, as this logline is concerned, because it raises questions like "why is she under his protection and not an uncle or orphanage?" so, maybe,? try something like:

"When a 12 year old girl comes home to see her family murdered, she hides out in a friendly neighbours apartment only to discover that he is a lethal hitman and tries to convince him to train her so she can get her revenge."

It's quite long and clunky but all the necessary beats are there. Hope this helps.

It's for the movie "Leon the professional".

At first, the inciting incident was the killing... but for the logline it seems like more logical her being under protection of Leon... what do you think?