Erica

1,465 points

1,035 points to Mentor

17 loglines
39 reviews

Loglines

An orphan developing strange powers is unaware that an alien force needs to destroy her if they are to succeed in invading Earth

February 3, 2018
A young woman in search of her parents finds herself in a fight for her life when an extraterrestrial warrior believe her to be a legendary weapon created to defend against the invader.

December 8, 2017
(Short) A down on his luck and jaded 20 something who robs a bank on Christmas eve meets a little girl who is convinced that an Old Man in the bank is Santa Claus.

October 7, 2017
The hunter becomes the hunted when a woman lures her abusive husband into a death trap. (Short Script, 7pages)

March 12, 2017
A middle aged couple take their niece on a haunted ghost tour in hopes of reconnecting, only to sense the tour guide may not be a guide at all but a ghost.

March 5, 2017
Update: When a night of UFO watching goes terribly wrong, a 12-year-old aspiring astronaut makes contact in a way she never expected. (SciFi/Family)

February 27, 2017
A girl obsessed with UFO’s builds a small device to alert us, when the device goes off during a storm she encounters a strange figure.

February 19, 2017
Edited logline: After being physically abused, a terrified women sets in motion her plan to trap her abusive husband after he draws a gun on her. – Short Script

January 24, 2017
On the outskirts of a small town, a bewildered woman is pushed to the breaking point when she escapes her overbearing husband by luring him into the woods. Short Story, 6pg.

January 22, 2017
An Ex Military specialist is called in one last time to recover deadly military experiment (PHOBE)who has escaped. Tracking this PHOBE to a small planet called Earth, Dapp must stop the Phobe and destroy the egg within 72 hours.

January 22, 2017
An orphaned young woman discovers she’s only half human when an Alien warrior is unleashed on earth to destroy the only weapon capable of stopping the forthcoming invasion, her.

July 31, 2016
In search of her origins, a confused young woman learns her father may have been a Decorated War Vet, however not from earth, now she finds herself in a fight to survive against a relentless alien warrior and a greedy corporation after her unique DNA

July 18, 2016
When people in town start disappearing, a young orphan woman, searching for her parents is attacked by an alien, she discovers her father’s true origins may not be from earth.

July 4, 2016
After losing her step father, a young women, now determined to find her birth parents is targeted by a deadly alien species, who turns out might just be family.

July 3, 2016
A soft-hearted young woman determined to find her birth parents stumbles on a deadly alien species that may hold the key to her origin.

July 2, 2016
In a small town, an embittered young male struggles with the beliefs of a little girl who thinks the old man in a Santa suit is Santa while he robs a bank on Christmas Eve.

May 1, 2016
Thanks all for the help. Re working it now.

May 1, 2016

Recent reviews

on An orphan developing strange powers is unaware that an alien force needs to destroy her if they are to succeed in invading Earth

Just testing a new version of my logline for a feature script.
on A young woman in search of her parents finds herself in a fight for her life when an extraterrestrial warrior believe her to be a legendary weapon created to defend against the invader.

Thanks DPG for the help, How could she not know growing up she?s not a normal human?? The idea here, she's pretty normal looking with none of her real abilities show until she's older (when the story starts).? She's always…
on A young woman in search of her parents finds herself in a fight for her life when an extraterrestrial warrior believe her to be a legendary weapon created to defend against the invader.

A new possible logline: During her search for her parents, a tenacious young woman is hunted by an extraterrestrial warrior who believes her to be a legendary weapon capable of defending against the invader.
on JC a 10-year-old boy genius in Outback Australia overcomes life’s endless hardships and grows into a man solving his community’s problems using his great intellect. In the process, he becomes the towns, Wet and Dry Goods Merchant, Pharmacist, Dentist, Optometrist, Mayor, Honorary Anesthesiologist, and romances his Childhood sweetheart along the way.

History unfold through the perspective of a 10 year old? genius in Outback Australia when he grows to become the towns Pharmacist, Dentist, Optometrist, Mayor and more but the real challenge is childhood sweetheart who's not not easily impressed.
on A young aid worker tormented by his dreams learns humanity has been manipulated for aeons. Only by accepting the past does he have a chance to save the future, humanity and the people he loves.

If it's too generic Happysnapper then it doesn't do it's job at all.? Right now there is no reason to find out more about it because it doesn't do anything to hook you.? A logline should sell your story, not…
on logline critique

I'm a little confused on this one, who is the cop try to keep the kidnapping victim alive?? Seems strange a kidnapping victim from a murder case, so the victim was killed?? Need a little clarity on this in my…
on (Short) A down on his luck and jaded 20 something who robs a bank on Christmas eve meets a little girl who is convinced that an Old Man in the bank is Santa Claus.

Not sure why the down vote.?? I've notice a lot of down voting lately, not exactly the best way to encourage people in my opinion.? I know some of the loglines posted are a mess or completely ignore anything about…
on A desperate Mexican single mother, looking to win back custody of her son living in America, kidnaps a US border guard and uses him as a coyote, unaware that her hostage is the Homeland security secretary?s nephew.

One of the things a movie has to do is pull you into the world in which they exist.? I'm having a hard time understanding how any of this would work. ? How does kidnapping a US Border guard win…
on That psychedelic drug would be developed by the person who cooked it getting to the highest purity range In the planet,in/on each individual will be processed differently and this is what alarms the person because it’d mean the reality on this world that the consumer is expiriencing COULD change.An entity would change it,anentity that uses the connection that occurs when the receptors in the brain receive the substance molecule(which can be related to all psychedelic drugs known to mankind including “the god’s molecule”) as it’s path to communicate with the person(man or woman). thriller/enhancer/ introspective/suspense (don’t think about stealing it or filtering it…this entity will know…I AM THE OWNER).

I'm not sure if this is for a script or just spam from a pharmaceutical company trying to sell cheap drugs.
on The hunter becomes the hunted when a woman lures her abusive husband into a death trap. (Short Script, 7pages)

Your right, the short story I did write has conflict in it, which would be the stakes.? I think I was thinking more alone the lines of 'Big' stakes, like found in action movie.? And yes a logline's soul purpose…
on The hunter becomes the hunted when a woman lures her abusive husband into a death trap. (Short Script, 7pages)

I think and believe that short stories have a whole different set of 'rule' for the logline. I could say everything that happens in the story but then there would be no point in reading the story.? Short stories tend…
on The hunter becomes the hunted when a woman lures her abusive husband into a death trap. (Short Script, 7pages)

Interesting, so you're saying I may be giving away too much at this point? What about something like: The hunter becomes the hunted when a terrified women sets in motion her escape plan before he kills her.
on Update: When a night of UFO watching goes terribly wrong, a 12-year-old aspiring astronaut makes contact in a way she never expected. (SciFi/Family)

"When a 12 year old?terminal cancer patient who aspires?to become an?astronaut is granted a tour of the international space station, He?unexpectedly finds himself at?ground?zero of?humanity?s first recorded contact with?extra terrestrials." Interesting, but not really my story at the moment.? Thank…
on Update: When a night of UFO watching goes terribly wrong, a 12-year-old aspiring astronaut makes contact in a way she never expected. (SciFi/Family)

I've updated the logline which I believe works better.? I don't want to do a bait and switch, was never my intention.
on A girl obsessed with UFO’s builds a small device to alert us, when the device goes off during a storm she encounters a strange figure.

"If sighting the alien is the inciting incident, what dramatic question, stated in one sentence, does that raise that the rest of the plot will answer ? or at least hint at an answer?" Hmm, I'm going to have to…
on A girl obsessed with UFO’s builds a small device to alert us, when the device goes off during a storm she encounters a strange figure.

I've added a link to the script, if that's not allowed, I understand.? I can't edit but perhaps the mods will remove the line if need be.The idea is that the girl believes in UFO?s, builds something and one shows…
on Working title: MISSLE (or GOD OF DESTRUCTION) Logline: After helplessly witnessing his brother murdered by a vicious gang, a disabled man in LA sets out one night on his homemade killing machine to seek vengeance.

This concept reminds me a lot of The Purge: Anarchy.? I would be curious as to what make your concept different.? Don't get me wrong, I'm not say it can't work but it would be a question a producer would…
on A girl obsessed with UFO’s builds a small device to alert us, when the device goes off during a storm she encounters a strange figure.

Still can't seem to edit my post.? Not sure if anyone else is having this issue. If anyone is interested I can post the link to read the script.? I could really use help constructing this logline.
on A girl obsessed with UFO’s builds a small device to alert us, when the device goes off during a storm she encounters a strange figure.

Well to give away the spoiler/story,? she ends up slipping from a platform during the story after seeing a strange small figure.? she never really gets a good look at it.? Next she?s? in the hospital in a coma, so…
on A girl obsessed with UFO’s builds a small device to alert us, when the device goes off during a storm she encounters a strange figure.

I should add, at the start of the story, she really wants to see a UFO or meet an alien, that's her want.? So her building the "UFO Detector" is a way for her to accomplish that want.? Now she…