Revised2: Upon learning their time-line has been sabotaged, an insecure, scatterbrained time-travel expert must win the faith of her cranky husband and her team, in time to save her wrongfully terminated project and their marriage.

6 reviews

t3xx3r Logliner · 422 pts

This logline screams part of "Timeless".

However, what is it about the terminated project that's important to her?? What is significant about the loss of marriage?? What is causing the timeline to slip that she had to go back and forth to fix what's not correct?

I like the logline but it's not that clear yet.

Jessie Samurai · 1,951 pts

Let me try and approach it analytically

Protagonist: scatterbrained genius time travel expert

Inciting incident: a deadline to keep their project/retrieve the stranded time traveller

Action 1: meet the deadline

Antagonist: the chairman

Mid point: learning their timeline has been sabotaged

Antagonist 2: unknown entity

Obstacles 2: their tech is down for now, they are fired from the project, key persons (husband and another key scientist) are quarrelsome/ apathetic, protagonist is disheartened.

Action 2: overcome differences to find a possible solution.

All is lost moment: the only person they can send back in time will be erased from existence any moment. The only approach that could work will kill them, but if the past was changed, this never happened anyway.

End: she wins the faith of her husband and her crew, they ?mutiny? to get hold of the tech and they go for it.

variable Summitry · 18,541 pts

your logline got a whole lot better, but it still doesn't answer WHY must SHE correct the timeline when it is a crazy long-shot

Are you sure about "otherwise their world will blow up"?

Yes events are mere medium to make characters react and it is an interesting plot to reveal the inside of a disagreeing couple

I am convinced you can come up with better relation of "...their terminated project..." & "...her attempt at correcting the timeline..." (an even better causality that is)