Jessie

Samurai · 1,951 points

549 points to Mentor

10 loglines
72 reviews

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Samurai

Loglines

A closed-off artist tries to leave her old life behind without attachments, when an anonymous one-night stand goes hilariously wrong and the protective wall around the painful memory, isolating her, begins to crack.

April 7, 2021
Revision 2: A telepath must install a countermeasure in a guarded government facility, before an anti-telepath weapon is launched.

July 11, 2018
2112: the government is about to destroy a city?s ability for deep emotion, an outcast telepath must trade in her beloved, to rescue someone murdered in the past to start an uprising.

July 10, 2018
When a ruthless, undercover alien headhunter discovers, her goofy co-travel-guide-researcher is from the rivaling faction, they must secretly use their genuine budding friendship to outwit the mastermind set on pinning them against each other. (The Alien Guide To Bavaria – to be a youtube show)

June 12, 2018
Revised2: Upon learning their time-line has been sabotaged, an insecure, scatterbrained time-travel expert must win the faith of her cranky husband and her team, in time to save her wrongfully terminated project and their marriage.

April 20, 2018
1

Sabotaged on her studio debut, a novice filmmaker must produce her blockbuster without funds and with local amateurs to prove herself, before she loses the rights to her script.

April 14, 2018
Revised: After a magical species abducts their parents, to transform them into their evil emperors, their twins must find and rescue them in time.

April 7, 2018
When an obsessive archaeologist accidentally releases a near-omnipotent demon, he must impersonate its boisterous, evil overlord to con it back into captivity.

April 1, 2018
1

Revised: When a bumbling alien pollutes the timeline, he and his adopted human family must travel back in history, and prevent the apocalypse? again!

March 23, 2018
Revised: After her children are taken, on account of her mental illness, a holier-than-though mother must reclaim them, by undergoing a life-threatening VR therapy: defeating embodiments of her demons in simulated combat.

March 22, 2018

Recent reviews

on Three characters, three life stories, integrate as a schizophrenic detective puts together puzzle-pieces in a quest to imprison a split-serial killer posing as Hollywood’s Messiah. — WHOLE

Uhum. Sound like it fits. And because some symptoms are similar, as you mentioned, I can see him thinking Schizophrenia until he learns more. Cool!
on Three characters, three life stories, integrate as a schizophrenic detective puts together puzzle-pieces in a quest to imprison a split-serial killer posing as Hollywood’s Messiah. — WHOLE

Seems to me, that you mc has two conditions . The MPD and the schiz. Could the schiz be caused by the mod? Maybe. I think MPD is at this stage somewhat theoretical. You may have some freedom in how…
on A closed-off artist tries to leave her old life behind without attachments, when an anonymous one-night stand goes hilariously wrong and the protective wall around the painful memory, isolating her, begins to crack.

I think I know how to approach it. I’ll need to leave the script alone for the most part, but more cards on the table with the logline. Got it, thank you! 😁🙏
on A closed-off artist tries to leave her old life behind without attachments, when an anonymous one-night stand goes hilariously wrong and the protective wall around the painful memory, isolating her, begins to crack.

That would be an interesting movie! 😁👏 I’ll need to adjust to an existing script. Nice and crisp though, thank you! Can use that as a template.
on Three characters, three life stories, integrate as a schizophrenic detective puts together puzzle-pieces in a quest to imprison a split-serial killer posing as Hollywood’s Messiah. — WHOLE

Sorry, in case that that this already covered. Mpd and schizophrenia, that’d be quite the hammer challenge for your mc 👍🙂
on Three characters, three life stories, integrate as a schizophrenic detective puts together puzzle-pieces in a quest to imprison a split-serial killer posing as Hollywood’s Messiah. — WHOLE

A big question. Is your character suffering from multiple personality disorder only or also from schizophrenia? Schizophrenia, although it translates to split mind, is a very different disease! Please google. Using the wrong term here is a classic mistake. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizophrenia…
on When his unknown opponent suffers a brain haemorrhage in the ring at a local tournament, a rookie fighter must discover the boxer’s identity and find his family to gift his prize money to them.

I feel, like I'd like to hear more about the journey and the obstacles there. Other than? not knowing where to find the family. At the moment, I'm picturing someone taking a flight, checking in in a youth hostel?and knocking…
on 2112: the government is about to destroy a city?s ability for deep emotion, an outcast telepath must trade in her beloved, to rescue someone murdered in the past to start an uprising.

Which part of it would you guys cut?
on In a last attempt to prove himself, a washed-up detective must unravel the secrets of a small-town to find two missing children.

I think what?s happening is that you are mixing up two different formats. You?re pretty close, but a logline benefits from following a very specific structure. Just check back with the formula. Know whee to find it? What you wrote…
on A burnt-out detective has to face his past when offered the job of finding two missing kids in a small-town full of lies. ★ Accepted

This sounds good to me in concept, too! Have you got a couple more details to sharpen it up with? See variable?s feedback.
on After trying an anti aging cream, a 71 year old starts getting younger every morning and must seek its manufacturer to avoid dying…

Can you make it clearer in the logline, that de-ages one year a day? Another difference is, it can be reversed, and that he has lived a full life before. How else can you make it fundamentally different? I mean…
on After accidentally reviving a teenage MUMMY, a young archaeologist must fight the freed DARK FORCES who want the MUMMY to turn evil and cause annihilation.

Just making this a separate post to make it searchable. Regarding a character being emotionally detached. Yes, there are real people like that. But:Even in pure action movies, in the best ones, the character cares. They don?t have to wear…
on When a businessman sells up to recover from debilitating injury, he embarks on an apparently simple quest to trace the origin of a family heirloom.

Hi Russel! Just go back to formula. The incident in something that happens to the character. So, the injury? So more clearly, the need to pay a steep medical bill? Character: a businessman. You could give us a juicy character…
on After accidentally reviving a teenage MUMMY, a young archaeologist must fight the freed DARK FORCES who want the MUMMY to turn evil and cause annihilation.

I think you've got the basics covered. I don't know what the rules on capitalization are. Feels like something best avoided to me. But better wait for someone more experienced for that. Here's a suggestion: After accidentally reviving a?benign?teenage mummy…
on A family – who are part of the same cult – discover that they must sacrifice themselves in order to enter the afterlife. But when Blake – the open-minded son – begins to suspect that there is no such thing, he must try to convince his brainwashed family to save themselves from their upcoming suicide. TITLE: Live to Die

Quick note. Don't use actual character names. :)
on Revised2: Upon learning their time-line has been sabotaged, an insecure, scatterbrained time-travel expert must win the faith of her cranky husband and her team, in time to save her wrongfully terminated project and their marriage.

Let me try and approach it analytically Protagonist: scatterbrained genius time travel expert Inciting incident: a deadline to keep their project/retrieve the stranded time traveller Action 1: meet the deadline Antagonist: the chairman Mid point: learning their timeline has been…
on After 15years of running and keeping it a secret, a woman is forced to face her abuser when the love of her life leaves her. Will she be able to, to save her relationship?

I?d like to see what happens next. This is only ever a first step. She builds up the courage and strength to confront the past, which starts the flow of emotions and so on as part of the healing. What…
on After losing his captcha, a tone deaf scientist must prove himself human in a music duel, or slave his life in an AI camp

I think, if you go ahead with this project, it would be good to get a consultant in. An expert on current AI with a good prognosis of how they?ll work in the future. With my limited understanding of this…
on When planetary gods disagree on each other’s decisions of “universal laws”, An Earth God engages in a divine war against the biased laws for his claim in the new world

I am picturing epic battles with large armies of god-underlings. But I may be wrong. Would like a brief description of what a divine war looks like, too. Currently?imagining a?war-movie with added superpowers.
on Revised2: Upon learning their time-line has been sabotaged, an insecure, scatterbrained time-travel expert must win the faith of her cranky husband and her team, in time to save her wrongfully terminated project and their marriage.

Hi! Thanks! It?s actually for a fan fiction audio drama, script is well received by fellow geeks. Episode 1/4 is currently in post, but I thought I?d test run the logline, before I give it to our visual artist. And…