When an elite intergalactic warrior discovers that a greedy, powerful cabal plans to deport almost the entire human race to a life of slavery in mines on an alien planet he risks his career and his life in order to save the human race and the woman he loves

I was instantly drawn in but instantly confused by the word "cabal" which was distracting. How about slave trader instead and use the word export instead of deport.

Hi Richiev! I like your version, but does non discover enough the story i wrote!

Hi Patrick! What do you mean about "define where are the powerful cabal is"?

First thank you for your comment. The powerful cabal is from earth, but this is one word more in logline! Sorry for my bad English!

Thanks a lot to all of you, you realy give me a big help!

"When an intergalactic warrior discovers a greedy cabal's plans to enslave the human race, he abandons his post to save the human race and the woman he loves"

The last intergalactic warrior fights to liberate the human race which has been deported from earth to work as slaves on an alien planet.

I'm not sure what "intergalactic warrior" is supposed to mean except that he's gotta be human -- he better be human -- if he wants to mate with a female of the homo sapiens species.

And I figured: make him the last of his kind, a dying breed of warrior being exterminated by the cabalistic aliens to decapitate resistance to their deportation.

And rescuing the girl is SOP for the "B" story, but not necessarily required in the logline which focuses on the "A" story.

Please define who the powerful cabal is. From earth or interplanetary? Best wishes.

Love the idea.

I think the removal of 'slavery in mines on an alien planet', doesn't reduce the description of the film. I think less is more in this instance...

When an elite intergalactic warrior discovers that a greedy, powerful cabal plans to deport almost the entire human race to a life of slavery. He risks his career and his life in order to save the human race and the woman he loves.