When an army soldier befriends the very Indians he is commissioned to fight, he discovers for the first time, who he truly is.

4 reviews

lempicka Samurai · 737 pts

I agree that his need / goal should be objective (but possibly hinting at his subjective need), I don't think you need 'very' and I'd consider changing 'Indians' to 'American Indians' or similar - as there is some discussion around the correct modern term for the indigenous peoples of the US: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Native_Americans_in_the_United_States#Terminology_differences. Other than the fact that he's supposed to fight them, I'm not sure what the soldier's conflict is from the logline.

dpg Singularity · 112,231 pts

"Discovering? who he truly is" relates to the character's subjective need; it is an unintended consequence of the action of the story.? However, loglines are not about unintended discoveries or subjective needs. Loglines are about objective wants,? about a protagonist's intentional actions to attain a specific goal.

For your consideration: a discussion thread of "Dances with Wolves" from last year.

dpg Singularity · 112,231 pts

"Discovering? who he truly is" relates to the character's subjective need; it is an unintended consequence of the action of the story.? However, loglines are not about unintended discoveries or subjective needs. Loglines are about objective wants,? about a protagonist's intentional actions to attain a specific goal.

For your consideration: a discussion thread of "Dances with Wolves" from last year.