Offered a drug at a high end party, a woman?s eyes slowly open to another dimension, she seeks remedy as she desperately attempts to reclaim her own sanity.

3 reviews

dho1115 Logliner · 415 pts

I do see a lot of potential here. This other dimension offers a lot of possibilities. Maybe it would be too much for this logline, but I would assume she would want to find the one who gave her this drug? Perhaps he's the only one with the remedy? Why did he offer her this drug? Aside from the remedy, does she also want to exact revenge on the person who offered her the drug?

I'd also like to know how this dimension is driving her insane. Maybe say something like it's a nightmare-filled dimension or something.

CraigDGriffiths 20,463 pts

You?ll need to tell the reader the story without imagery and metaphors. Can I read this and guess a budget?

variable 18,541 pts

would you ever accept a mysterious drug?
I wouldn't

unless:
alarmed by her descending career...
(to make her a little less risk averse)

but then you risk making it sound like "limitless"
Also, what makes it better than the popular 2011 flick. He did it to write better
i.e., how does "opening to another dimension that exists along side our reality" helps her personally?
since you need to show a roller coaster high before the midpoint swoops it down..