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When her raw, tell-all article about her marriage goes viral, a struggling writer must navigate a toxic, public literary feud with her successful husband to finally achieve the fame and recognition she craves.
Didn’t this script receive a mention on the Black List? Love how you took the premise and distilled everything down! 🙂
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Following the mysterious disappearance of their community, a young fugitive and his animal companion must step out of the shadows in search of answers, embarking on a journey where revealing their identity and forbidden power could prove deadly.
Hi, isanatera! Right now this logline is too vague. Right now, it’s the seed of what will hopefully become a really good story. It tells us that the story has secrets, but doesn’t explain what makes those secrets interesting or…
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After losing his royal security post when India gains independence, a disillusioned officer travels to Britain in search of a new life but becomes entangled in violent protests, political corruption, and the disappearance of the Prime Minister. As a secret organization pushes to seize control of the nation, he must choose between rescuing the kidnapped leader or stopping a rebellion that could change the country’s future
Forgive the typos XD
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After losing his royal security post when India gains independence, a disillusioned officer travels to Britain in search of a new life but becomes entangled in violent protests, political corruption, and the disappearance of the Prime Minister. As a secret organization pushes to seize control of the nation, he must choose between rescuing the kidnapped leader or stopping a rebellion that could change the country’s future
Hey CG! Right now, your logline reads like this: A disgraced royal officer arrives in Britain seeking redemption, but becomes ensnared in a coup between a vanished Prime Minister and a secretive cabal, forcing him to confront his past and…
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On a normal day, a couple from university arrive in the NY city with same plan for one weekend, but a series of unexpected events happens to them after which their relationship, dreams and views on what they want change throughout a rainy day in a big city.
Hey Sofia! Try something like this: College sweethearts arrive NYC to _______ (You mentioned that they had the same plan for the weekend. For this blank, tell us specifically what they have planned), but ________ happens (You mentioned a series…
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A “guinea pig” A US Infantry division, formed immediately after Pearl Harbor and populated with middle-aged draftees, becomes the most respected, effective and feared unit in the Pacific Theater, earning the nickname “The Old Bastards”.
Gotcha! So like a miniseries like Band of Brothers or The Pacific? That sounds like I really cool idea! Even for a series or a miniseries though, it still needs to hint at the conflict. Try tweaking it slightly. For…
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A “guinea pig” A US Infantry division, formed immediately after Pearl Harbor and populated with middle-aged draftees, becomes the most respected, effective and feared unit in the Pacific Theater, earning the nickname “The Old Bastards”.
It’s got potential, but (and I’m assuming that this is meant to be a feature film), it needs to get more specific. Take the film The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare as an example. It’s inspired by the true story of…
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A frustrated architect works on soulless industrial projects, with the dream of building his ideal building.
Tired of working on soulless industrial projects, a frustrated architect decides to undertake ________ project, but everything hits the fan when he encounters ________ obstacle.
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A frustrated architect works on soulless industrial projects, with the dream of building his ideal building.
Hi, Rick! You’ve got a character flaw and some internal motivation which is great. But now you need an external conflict or opposition.
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An incisive detective imprisons a man who is murdered in prison while innocent, so he resigns out of remorse to free unjustly incarcerated people in defiance of the system he once defended.
Is great that you provide a source of internal motivation or drive for your protagonist; however, it lacks an external conflict or some sort of opposition or obstacle. A rewrite might look like After imprisoning an innocent man, a remorseful…
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A disgraced veteran ex-firefighter attempts to redeem his honor by volunteering to lead a team of greenhorns to combat a forest fire of epic proportions that no amount experience and training could prepare them for the dangers they’re about to face.
And to add to the point of their inexperience as green horns, maybe for instance, one of them is a school teacher, another is a blogger, another is an accountant, etc. so none of them have a clue of how…
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A disgraced veteran ex-firefighter attempts to redeem his honor by volunteering to lead a team of greenhorns to combat a forest fire of epic proportions that no amount experience and training could prepare them for the dangers they’re about to face.
You’re on the right track! A couple of things jumped out at me initially: Since you already have “ex-firefighter” in the logline, you don’t need “veteran” since previous experience is already implied. You could condense what you have into something…
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A washed up journalist desperate to rekindle his career, forced to take an anniversary piece in a sleepy town must hack through deadly social terrain when he discovers the town harbors dark secrets they want, and anyone who tries to expose them, buried.
Great premise, although from the way it’s worded, it reads more like a horror film in my opinion. That being said, I made a couple of tweaks just to help make it a bit more concise. Feel free to use…
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When a young video store clerk receives a proposition to make a snuff movie from a mysterious man, he decides to convince his friend to kidnap a girl and make the movie.
It’s definitely got potential, but here is a more concise version that I think captures the essence in fewer words: After a video store clerk receives a mysterious proposition to make a snuff movie, he convinces his friend to kidnap…
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The night before her on call shift, Sarah, a nurse working a second job, finds herself in the midst of late night deliveries. As she tries to walk her way back home, after the last delivery of the night, her night leads her all the way to work.
I want to actually encourage you! I feel like you might be on to something, but I think right now you have what is the seed of an idea. To me, the logline reads something like “After a mysterious late-night…
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When the cinematographer of a documentary crew is pranked by a giggly Japanese salary man living under a bridge after the 2008 financial crash, she must fight for his story to be the new focus of the shoot.
Or something like, “After a homeless, giggly Japanese salaryman pranks the cinematographer of a documentary crew, she scrambles to make his bizarre antics the new focus of their documentary.” This version is pretty much what you had already, just streamlined…
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When the cinematographer of a documentary crew is pranked by a giggly Japanese salary man living under a bridge after the 2008 financial crash, she must fight for his story to be the new focus of the shoot.
It should be “the cinematographer” and not “a cinematographer”. Sorry for the typo!
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When the cinematographer of a documentary crew is pranked by a giggly Japanese salary man living under a bridge after the 2008 financial crash, she must fight for his story to be the new focus of the shoot.
Just to streamline it a bit, you could say something like: “After being pranked by a homeless, giggly Japanese salaryman, a cinematographer scrambles to make his bizarre antics the new focus of the documentary.” That way it still conveys that…
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When the cinematographer of a documentary crew is pranked by a giggly Japanese salary man living under a bridge after the 2008 financial crash, she must fight for his story to be the new focus of the shoot.
I like it! It sounds like a dramedy or a mockumentary, but I could totally see this being a movie! 🙂
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when daughter comes home to an empty Christmas tree on Christmas Dayher desperate does whatever it takes to surprise her daughter
Hey, Callum! I noticed a couple of grammatical errors so let me correct those for you before I give you my thoughts. Here is what I believe to be a more polished version of your logline. Feel free to use…
