When a widow with 8 children finds $21 million dollars in black garbage bags stashed in an old barn, she decides to keep it, evading drug dealers DEA and FBI in a motor home cross-country road trip with her best friend and 10 children giving away money as she goes.

Did she have two more kids on the road? She starts out with eight and ends up with ten, so?

Yes, the main character definitely needs a goal, both internal (emotional) and external (actual physical destination). What's at the end of the trip? Where is she going, and for what reason? What will she find there? Do the kids want to go to Disneyland? Is one of them dying and wants to fulfill some wish? Do some of them have a different father and want to meet the one who's still alive? There has to be some purpose to their trip, so her success in overcoming the obstacles presented along the way has some meaning.

Stating the goal will also help set the tone and genre, as it isn't clear whether this is comedy, drama, action, thriller?there's a problem with punctuation, too; no writing should ever be presented without proper proofreading.

You have a protagonist, an antagonist a situation, but you don't have a GOAL. What widow wants to achieve? Giving money away its not a goal, its some stage in her life path. Perhaps she needs to redeem herself from some terrible act (a murder, a robbery or perhaps just a failure to support her dying husband, or something like that) so when she finds a money, she sees a way how to redeem herself by helping others. The fact that drug dealers and FBI are in her way is good backstory through which she can find the right path. But not a goal. You need to put into that logline something like "so now she decides to." Fact that at first she throws the money away is a first stage of her path to redemption. Then something else has to come, some realization and that will make your story complete.

Hi,

Could be a fun movie. Your logline needs to be cut in half though. It's quite wordy with a lot of information that doesn't need to be in there.

"When a charitable widow finds $21 million dollars stashed in her garage she decides to take her kids cross country to donate the money, with the drug dealers who stashed it hot on their tail."