JanCabal

Logliner · 544 points

1,956 points to Mentor

18 loglines
55 reviews

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Logliner

Loglines

When corporate spy infiltrates a fanatic cult which overthrew a deep space mining colony, he finds a mind altering alien artifact capable of conjuring world-destroying monster.

January 15, 2022
In a dystopian future, when reaching ‘working age,’ teenage rebel defys his destiny set by a leading class oppressors and will fight for living life his own way, even if it means death.

November 27, 2017
When broke indie movie-maker and his friends heads into a desert to shot found footage horror movie, they stumble upon a real monster and have to fight to survive.

November 24, 2017
After her retired client dies, a social worker risks her life when she discovers a fake agency luring properties from pensioners in exchange for a till-the-end-of-their-life home care. (latest update)

November 11, 2017
3

When homicidal maniac escapes his cell in a locked-down mental health institution, greenhorn security guard must take a stand to survive and protect other patients.

November 6, 2017
A college student fights false accusations of rape against corrupted councelor and his rapist son to clear his reputation as stakes go higher with upcoming town elections.

November 3, 2017
Able to wink only, paralyzed, but slowly recovering man agrees to sexual plays with a jealous nurse, but now he has to fight his helplessness, as he must stop her before she kills him and his family.

December 14, 2013
1

An FBI agent must stop a victim of an alien abduction – modified into superhuman seeking revenge to his creators – before he starts an intergalactic war.

August 11, 2013
After a discovery of time-travelling, genius scientist uncover that reckless agency creates multiple dimensions and gather mineral resources from past to present, which will lead to dimensional collapse unless he stops them.

February 18, 2013
When friends miss their hotel reservation, they seek refuge from snowstorm in abandoned factory only to fight for survival against ancient witch hiding there.

February 14, 2013
While trapped in an underground laboratory, rational woman fights insanity to survive attacks of man-eating monsters and searches for her brother who is a cause of all the mess. Version 3

February 13, 2013
When witch curses her fiance, courageous bride learns the true purpose of the wedding – being sacrificed to pagan god. Now she must find the way how to avoid his wrath. Version 3

February 13, 2013
As a naive teen prepares her wedding, she learns about a curse placed upon her village, and must now confront a witch to stop the locals from cannibalism! Version 2

February 12, 2013
While fighting with a group of survivors against deadly man-eating monsters inside the underground laboratory, Rita is trying to find her missing brother. Version 2

February 11, 2013
Naive teenage girl was preparing for her wedding in medieval village until it was spoiled by an evil witch's curse. To prevent villagers from eating each other (literally) she must confront the witch and learn the truth about the village past.

February 10, 2013
While following the leads after her missing brother, Rita arrives at mountain chalet. But instead of her brother, she finds a secret underground laboratory, full of horrific creatures trying to eat her.

February 6, 2013
When Jake, the long distance truck driver, returns back home, he discover that 2 years of his life went missing. What had happened since he took a nap during his last shift?

February 6, 2013
Once her daughter gets addicted, the fight between Agent Sandra Shepherd and new drug, which is 100% addictive and causes vampirism, become personal, as the only way to save her is to give her drink from the creator's blood.

February 6, 2013

Recent reviews

on God did not abandon man after his fall. On the contrary, God calls him and in a mysterious way heralds the coming victory over evil and his restoration from his fall. This is the first announcement of the Messiah and Redeemer, of a battle between the serpent and the Woman, and of the final victory of her descendant – Jesus Christ.

When the women loses the fight against the serpent, God forces upon himself to call the man while pretending he abandoned him to force Messiah the Redeemer to make first announcement that battle has been won by Jesus Christ.
on Young Kenny becomes an orphan moves to live with her uncle in the village, faces harsh treatment. Her emotions- fear, anger and sadness conflicts on how best to navigate a new environment.

When (personality trait, like ambitious) Kenny becomes an orphan living under oppressive uncle in rural village, she takes on (education, some challenge) in order to escape and (goal - live free, independence, or threat - she will suffer if she…
on When corporate spy infiltrates a fanatic cult which overthrew a deep space mining colony, he finds a mind altering alien artifact capable of conjuring world-destroying monster.

I have borrowed a synopsis from Wicker man When a young girl mysteriously disappears, Police Sergeant Howie travels to a remote Scottish island to investigate. But this pastoral community, led by strange Lord Summerisle, is not what it seems: the…
on When corporate spy infiltrates a fanatic cult which overthrew a deep space mining colony, he finds a mind altering alien artifact capable of conjuring world-destroying monster.

Thanx I see what you mean. The mambo jumbo I have made - In order for human to be infected, he has to touch the object (even although object has been whispering to people to lure them in and main…
on When corporate spy infiltrates a fanatic cult which overthrew a deep space mining colony, he finds a mind altering alien artifact capable of conjuring world-destroying monster.

Posting again as it wasnt sent as a reply: Ah, thanx mate 🙂 Nice to still see you around. And yeah, your makes more sense and sounds more exciting. I just thought that it would come as an obvious thing…
on When corporate spy infiltrates a fanatic cult which overthrew a deep space mining colony, he finds a mind altering alien artifact capable of conjuring world-destroying monster.

Ah, thanx mate :) Nice to still see you around. And yeah, your makes more sense and sounds more exciting. I just thought that it would come as an obvious thing that he must destroy it or monster will destroy…
on After her retired client dies, a social worker risks her life when she discovers a fake agency luring properties from pensioners in exchange for a till-the-end-of-their-life home care. (latest update)

This is the original logline that I am posting here for a reference. When one of her retired client dies, a social worker uncovers a secret world of horrifying aged care business involving fake real estate contracts, abuse and murder.…
on After her retired client dies, a social worker risks her life when she discovers a fake agency luring properties from pensioners in exchange for a till-the-end-of-their-life home care. (latest update)

Maybe this makes more sense?After?one of her retired clients suspiciously dies, a social worker puts her life?at risk when?she?discovers a?fake agency luring properties from pensioners in exchange for a till-the-end-of-their-life home care.Thats?36 words. Let's see if I can short it…
on When a teenage girl has her robot?s algorithm stolen by her mentor, the only way to expose the truth to is to compete against him at an International Robotics Competition, and win a grant to develop the tech that will allow her paralysed mother to paint again.

Man I think that you may have perhaps fallen into a trap that I got into myself many times. You design a story or idea in your head and then you are trying to create a logline for it. If…
on A young, teen girl designs an app to control a robot that can cure paralysis, but when her disabled mother falls seriously ill, and her mentor plagiarises her design and sells it to a multi-national, the only way to expose the truth is to compete against them at an International Robotics Competition.

And yes, the setup doesnt much work - algorithm + patenting of it + urgency of mother dying ... putting it all together to make the device / treatment seems to be lengthy process. More likely the girl (I can;'t…
on A young, teen girl designs an app to control a robot that can cure paralysis, but when her disabled mother falls seriously ill, and her mentor plagiarises her design and sells it to a multi-national, the only way to expose the truth is to compete against them at an International Robotics Competition.

A young scientist must compete for her?paralysis curing?algorithm, stolen and patented by her mentor, before her mother dies. 54 words reduced to 20 . Question is, why she can't reproduce the algorithm? Isn't coma something like a dead brain? Can…
on Is this a good tagline? ★ Accepted

From my understanding, tagline is a marketing slogan that you put on the poster ("In space, nobody can hear you scream" or something like that? for first Alien). So you mean logline? You got a hero (ex convict), you got…
on When homicidal maniac escapes his cell in a locked-down mental health institution, greenhorn security guard must take a stand to survive and protect other patients.

Hello and thank you. Yes, low budget and as short film was exactly what I had on my mind =). Alsi a topic I know lot about as I work as a disability support worker and I oftwn work as…
on Trapped

Protagonist - hero with schizophrenia. His goal - to escape. Antagonist forces - his multiple personalities that laid traps around the house. I miss inciting incident. How did he got there? Apparently he walked there on his own as a…
on A college student fights false accusations of rape against corrupted councelor and his rapist son to clear his reputation as stakes go higher with upcoming town elections.

I am working with two versions with the story of the victim. Either she has been knocked down during the rape and now she has a concussion, manipulated by corrupted doctor / psychiatrist later on to make her believe the…
on A college student fights false accusations of rape against corrupted councelor and his rapist son to clear his reputation as stakes go higher with upcoming town elections.

Thanx mate. No, the student only wants to clear his name, however, his enemies are tough because the true rapist is a misbehaving son of an influential politician, who has police and doctor in a pocket (and also paid some…
on Able to wink only, paralyzed, but slowly recovering man agrees to sexual plays with a jealous nurse, but now he has to fight his helplessness, as he must stop her before she kills him and his family.

Thank you guys. I got your points. LincWilder you nailed it. I think that I can actually use that
on At the death of their mother three siblings undertake the journey to bury there mother and put her estate in order, but when they meet their long awaited soul mates they must learn that the path of pain leads to hope and joy before they loose this opportunity to the sorrow that engulfs them.

I don't really know what to make up of this. Have you tried to say this aloud to yourself? Memorize it? Can you imagine you go on a party and speak it aloud to people, asking their opinion? Do you…
on After escaping from a galactic penal colony, seven prisoners find their bid for freedom has turned into a battle for their survival when they must outwit and out manoeuvre a psychopathic android with holographic, shape shifting abilities intent on re-enacting the twisted deaths he has watched in old horror movies.

I miss the connection between the robot and their escape. Is the robot the prison sentry searching for them? Or prisoners crash somewhere and wake up a monster? In the second case, you are actually writing two loglines. In the…
on As the year of the four blood moon approaches archivist director of a University discovers an ancient prophecy foretelling the rebuilding of Solomon?s temple and the discovery of the Ark of covenant but when Zadok?s manuscript is stolen he must accept the mystery between Yahweh and his chosen before the temple construction is abolished by an ancient brotherhood.

Just a note on a side: Zadok means 'Ass' or a 'Butt' in Czech, Slovakian, Polish, Serbian and other languages ;) Stakes are missing, or are not high enough. Why should reader root for abolishing an ancient temple? What are…