When a wallflower is tired of being overlooked and underestimated, she sets out on a journey of self-discovery to come off the wall and out of her shell.

When a wallflower is tired of being overlooked and underestimated, she sets out on a journey of self-discovery to come off the wall and out of her shell.

3 reviews

Tjmohr Penpusher · 287 pts

This is a classic story, I think you need to add how this story is different to the logline. What's unique about your version of this story?

KoenvDrl Penpusher · 41 pts

Any reason you focus on the wallflower as a "she"? And does this have effect on her actions in the story?

 

dpg Singularity · 112,231 pts

"A journey of self-discovery"? is vague both in terms of action and? goal.? ?It can mean any one of 100,001? activities in pursuit of 100,001? goals.? She could choose a journey of self-discovery that entails scaling El Capitan without? her bare hands, no rope ( as in "Free Solo")? Or a journey of self-discovery with the objective goal of hiking the length of the Pacific Rim Trail (as in "Wild").? Or live for a summer in the Alaskan wilderness (as in "Into the Wild").

Or...?

Which one? journey does she take toward? a concrete objective goal for the subjective purpose of self-discovery?? Exactly what does she do to come out of her shell?? What is the visual for "journey of self-discovery"?? What will that look like, how will that unfold on the screen?

The logline needs to be specific.