When a village is plagued by beetles that eat colour, an artist grieving the loss of his daughter ventures into the nearby jungle to save a flower which is the only source of a certain shade of blue.

Saving Celeste

8 reviews

dpg Singularity · 112,231 pts

nicholasandrewhalls:

Re: protagonist definitely needs to be described as grieving to explain the thematic link between his inner journey and the stakes of the story.

Okay, that works well for enriching the WHY of the plot. But because of word constraints, triage must prevail in loglines. And my sense of the triage is a logline first and foremost must focus on the outer journey, objective, material issues.

What objective goal does you protagonist want to achieve? (Save an exotic plant). What are the objective stakes? (Before it goes extinct.)

It is also my sense of the stern but necessary triage that loglines are usually more effective when the story is cast with the protagonist looking forward (the present and future), rather than backward (grief about the past). When the action is cast affirmatively (save the plant) rather than negatively (grieving).

Again, it is my sense of the triage for loglines that objective, present tense issues almost always take precedent over subjective, past tense issues. However, if you can say it all in 25 words or less, more power.

fwiw.

Nicholas Andrew Halls Samurai · 1,742 pts

Thanks wilsondownunder. I was actually thinking live action - kind of a Wes Anderson / Michel Gondry vibe to it

I am working on including an antagonist - you're right, the conflict is just not high enough in the logline as it is. I'm thinking an entomologist that is fighting for the beetles' interests.

The flower links in a thematic way to the daughter's death. His outer journey - to save this beautiful plant from extinction - is the process of him having to learn to let go of grief; reflecting the inner journey to learn that a natural part of living is dying, and you can't hold on to things once nature decides their end.