When a meltdown started accidentally by a butter sandwich opens a time vortex in a lonely computer geek?s house, he and two previous inhabitants thrown in the present by the vortex, must save the planet from an alien warrior race who thinks humans are unfit to handle time travel.

5 reviews

Foxtrot25 Summitry · 17,380 pts

I mean, even if the butter sandwich is the best idea since sliced bread, it is still 1 scene in your movie, one gag. What's the rest of the story gonna rely on to run?

Foxtrot25 Summitry · 17,380 pts

One thing a person hanging on this site should learn quickly is that clarity and economics are king to a logline.

Sorry to say, I can't find either in your logline.

This first part of your log is silly and outrageous, and that works for a comedy. But then you end the log with a serious situation.

I'd say pick one.

A trio of nerds must find the courage to close a vortex that has opened in their kitchen before time-travelling aliens take over Earth.

Jackalboy11 Penpusher · 256 pts

I agree with the above. While I like the Butter Sandwich to indicate it is a comedy it does take precious words away from the main concept.? Using "lonely" with Computer nerd seems redundant and therefore it's a wasted word and extra thought for someone wanting to get the concept right away and be wowed by it.? Just one sentence of what the computer nerd must do to save earth - like NIr says above "Kill the Alien general or what ?? Perhaps invent a machine out of his toaster that will send the Alien back to his planet and close the wormhole.