When a humiliated teen starts visualizing the true desires of any female he touches, he gets a chance to win the girl away from his Machiavellian rival.

Just a couple housekeeping things, I'm not sure if they've been mentioned or not, but:

"the girl"? What girl? Why does he "want" her?

And if his rival is "Machiavellian", doesn't your protagonist using his new power for his own gain make him the same thing? What separates them? I think this is similar to the movie?Election?in that they are all morally grey but what makes them sympathetic and possibly borderline likable is that they struggle with their guilt throughout as it builds up throughout. If this isn't what you were going for, then change the descriptions of your characters immediately.

Just a couple housekeeping things, I'm not sure if they've been mentioned or not, but:

"the girl"? What girl? Why does he "want" her?

And if his rival is "Machiavellian", doesn't your protagonist using his new power for his own gain make him the same thing? What separates them? I think this is similar to the movie?Election?in that they are all morally grey but what makes them sympathetic and possibly borderline likable is that they struggle with their guilt throughout as it builds up throughout. If this isn't what you were going for, then change the descriptions of your characters immediately.

I feel like I've a had masterclass seminar on this -so thank you all. I must be able to pull out ?a logline now ...

I'll stew on a few ideas today ... So thank you and apologies in advance because... I'll be back soon with another variation