When a Governors daughter is kidnapped, a remorseful gang banger is recruited as part of an elite team to rescue her.

Big Fish Small Pond

2 reviews

Lemmy Caution Penpusher · 61 pts

"A remorseful gang banger"? Do you mean rapist? I think you'll find it difficult making your main character sympathetic. (BTW, check your apostrophes).

FFF Mentor · 7,850 pts

Hello, I don't want to be mean to you but- do you actually write this or you are testing a beta version of an automatic logline software? I give you a very good advice, before writing, you should read a lot of logline guides on the internet and maybe buy some books (I recommend Truby's "anathomy of a story" who has a good chapter about loglines), because in reading your concepts it seems to me that you have to study the very basic of screenwriting- you can't skip this step or you'l write 1000 logines without writing anything good. Hope this helps!