When a cash-hungry escort driver gets wind of an easy score, his life becomes ever more obscure the deeper he commits to it and the people involved.

13 reviews

A_R_Road Logliner · 346 pts

thank you both for the input on this. I'm gonna put it on the shelf until I can delve a little deeper into the concept.

dpg Singularity · 112,231 pts

What does "turns problematic" mean?? What's the visual on that? And as a result, what must he do -- what become his specific objective goal?? The logline is still vague

"realizes his dark and sinful connection to the victim?".? A logline is not about what a character comes to realize.? It's what a character must do as a result of that realization.? ?So, when he comes to this realization, what MUST he do?? Again, what becomes his objective goal? Be specific.

A_R_Road Logliner · 346 pts

Would it work better to just knock off the first sentence?

'A simple robbery turns problematic for a cash-hungry escort driver who soon realizes his dark and sinful connection to the victim'