13 reviews
thank you both for the input on this. I'm gonna put it on the shelf until I can delve a little deeper into the concept.
What does "turns problematic" mean?? What's the visual on that? And as a result, what must he do -- what become his specific objective goal?? The logline is still vague
"realizes his dark and sinful connection to the victim?".? A logline is not about what a character comes to realize.? It's what a character must do as a result of that realization.? ?So, when he comes to this realization, what MUST he do?? Again, what becomes his objective goal? Be specific.
Would it work better to just knock off the first sentence?
'A simple robbery turns problematic for a cash-hungry escort driver who soon realizes his dark and sinful connection to the victim'