The only straight player on an otherwise all-gay football team is engaged to the daughter of a homophobic dinosaur, who just so happens to be the league?s top referee.

Switching Sides

3 reviews

Former member Penpusher · 20 pts

I agree about the missing objective.

Your situational elements seem to imply an objective but, you don't state it.

The title, SWITCHING SIDES implies a coming out story, so if that is your story, please come out and tell us about your MC's journey.

Maybe,

After deciding to announce his sexual preference, an honest, football player must break off his engagement to the daughter of the league's top referee without jeopardizing his team's chance in the league championship.?

dpg Singularity · 112,231 pts

The logline describes a situation, but not a plot.

What is the dramatic problem that arises from the situation?
What is the inciting incident of that problem?
As a result of the problem, what must the protagonist do? What becomes his objective goal?
What are the stakes? What does he stand to gain if he succeeds, lose if he fails to achieve his objective goal?

FFF Mentor · 7,850 pts

Hello, the idea is good ! Sounds funny. I think you should include something about what is the goal of the hero. In your logline it seem to me that the situation is too static, even if I can easily imagine there can be a lot of potential conflict. Tell what's the story is about.