Sent directly to earth from the Creator, to raise up their Race of Beings who have fallen prey. Things get deadly.

8 reviews

Richiev Singularity · 82,714 pts

One of the great things about practicing loglines; it creates healthy writing habits.

One of those habits is getting rid of unnecessary words.

Sent -- directly?('directly' isn't needed)
raise -- up (redundant, both words mean the same thing) -- However, you might want to use a different word like rally?or lead. They are sent to 'lead' their race (for instance)
race -- of beings (You don't need 'of beings', how would you have a race who were not beings?)

Finally, you have left off an important detail -- Fallen Prey... (To whom?)

Anyway, good luck with your story and keep working on this logline, the advice above is excellent

Richiev Singularity · 82,714 pts

Who's the lead character?
What's the lead character's goal?
What's standing in his or her way?