Jay Cannon (JC)

176 points

124 points to Logliner

3 loglines
6 reviews

Loglines

While celebrating at an exclusive costume ball, a group of superrich Singaporeans is lured away by sexy aliens and now must save Earth from being taken over by superrich aliens looking to add Earth to their coffers.

February 18, 2019
When ruthless alien killers with chameleon abilities escape to Earth, an elite, combat security officer must kill or recapture them before they slaughter the humans that get in their way

July 15, 2018
Adar, an alien assassin, transports to Earth seeking three killers with chameleon abilities who escaped his ship. Adar must find his prey quickly before many of Earth?s inhabitants are slaughtered or live with dishonor.

July 13, 2018

Recent reviews

on A young psychic lives a virtual hermit?s life until he sees his own death, he must try to figure out the events that lead to his death in a hope of preventing them.

The ending is not visceral enough. Can you say what causes the psychic to see his death? How about: A young psychic lives a virtual hermit?s life until [saving a sick girl] causes him to see his own death, he…
on When mutilated animals begin showing up in a small Ohio town and all signs begin to point in an impossible, draconic direction, a new sheriff with something to prove must enlist the help of the high school janitor with a mysterious family past to kill the beast before anyone else gets hurt.

I like the idea, but agree with others that it is too long. Here's a suggestion: When mutilated animals begin showing up in a small Ohio town, a new sheriff with something to prove enlists the help of the high…
on Is this good for a first logline

How is it the student just realized something that happened 50 years ago?? Who helped the student realize his mistake?
on Sent directly to earth from the Creator, to raise up their Race of Beings who have fallen prey. Things get deadly.

Fallen prey to what? Who are the Race of Beings. How do things get deadly?
on A jailed former wrestler, gets another chance in the spotlight by putting on wrestling shows in prison, but after his early parole, he struggles to cope without it.

I like the story. I would pinpoint a struggle.
on Julia a high school girl, learns that her younger sister has a bowel syndrome disorder and should undergo surgery as soon as possible. She decides to go to Texas with her two friends. But in their road trip, they get involved in some adventures.

Tie the road trip to the need for the surgery.? Expand on "some adventures."