4 reviews
Maybe there is a descriptor that can be used to cover "homelessness, alcoholism and drug addiction" so that you don't have a laundry list, so to speak,? within your logline.
Thanks for the feedback.
Domestic violence was the inciting incident that got the protagonist into action.? Yes perhaps there are just too many incidents and not a clear theme, or too many themes in the draft.
The logline reads more like a list of independent events as appose to a story.
I suggest that you pick one of the events in the logline as the inciting incident and re draft the logline with a goal.