Hello, the movie can be interesting,
for the logline I reiterate the comment above: it would be better to avoid backstory (the Gulf), make it shorter and clearer, focus on the main goal, and give a better descritption of the plot. What is the inciting event?
I strongly suggest to try to include some fun in the logline, because in reading it I thought of it as a very serious movie like Gran Torino. Where's the irony? What generates the fun in your comedy?
I don't know if any of this is true to your story but i suggest something like :
"When his new friendship with a young fragile boy is jeopardized, a sardonic tough veteran must shed his old skin to truly become his mentor."
or
"When a sardonic tough veteran befriends a young fragile boy, he must shed his old skin if he wants to truly become his mentor."
Good luck with the contest