On the verge of peaceful retirement, an Australian businessman must return to his native Hungary to save his son from his old nemesis, the leader of a ruthless Neo-Nazi gang.

Where the Fish Bite

3 reviews

Former member Penpusher · 20 pts

A decent concept, but the logline doesn't do it justice. Too wordy. Gives no idea what the main character's flaw might be. Do we care that he's on the verge of a peaceful retirement? Do we care that he's a businessman? Also there's a clarity problem - does "his old nemesis" refer to the son or the father?

These are hard, aren't they? :-)

Alan Smithee Penpusher · 20 pts

A decent concept, but the logline doesn't do it justice. Too wordy. Gives no idea what the main character's flaw might be. Do we care that he's on the verge of a peaceful retirement? Do we care that he's a businessman? Also there's a clarity problem - does "his old nemesis" refer to the son or the father?

These are hard, aren't they? :-)